Blessed with a Curse

'''I said I'd make it, and I'm keeping my promise ^_^! But I'm not sure if I should release a chappy a day or every other day. Please tell me on the talk page what you think.'''

Chapter One - Suicidal Silence
I pull my shirt on. I look at myself silently in the mirror. I go over to my closet and open it. I absent-minded grab the first pair of shoes I see. Does it really matter what pair of shoes they find me dead in? They're my black high-tops with neon-cyan laces and skulls on the black part. I pu them on and tie them slowly. The silence is killing me. It's been happening for while; The world seeming to slow down, everything being quiet. It's suicidal silence. I just want it to stop before I freak out. Wait, too later. I've had countless mental-breakdowns. I'm shook into the real world by my 'rents screaming at eachother. They're calling each other many names that I'd rather not say. My hands ball into fists. Again? Really? M hands fly to my ears and my nails dig into my head, but the screaming doesn't go away. I still hear them. I let go of my head and squeeze my eyes shut. I know what you're thinking: this wouldn't bother normal kids like this. That's a simle question to answer. I'm not a normal kid. These aren't my real parents. I was taken away from my real father, when I was twelve years old. Why? Because he abused me. He'd train pitbulls and other breeds of dogs to attack me. He'd burn and cut my arms and legs. He'd make me live outside on extremely hot nights or cold and rainy ones. Then he'd just simply beat me. Then Child Services came to the rescue. They took me away. But none of those tortures were the worest. The yelling was. He'd yell at me, telling me I was a worthless nobody. Then, he gave me a Chelsea Smile, saying I didn't smile enough. It was straight out of horror movies.

That's why I hate yelling. And I obviously have a good reason.

 1:03 P.M.

 1st Tuesday, November 2009

 5 Miles Outside of New Mexico City

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Someone once discribed the darkness as beautiful, because even in the light there are shadows of the night. It discribes so many people in the world these days. They look so perfect on the outside, but that's just a mask to hide alll of their problems; The shadows of the night in the brightest light. there's truth in lies, vice versa. This makes me think; There's truth in likes and shadows in light...? Then...Never mind, it was stupid. It's not going to change my mind, anyways. At this point, nothing will.

I pull over to the shouder of the road and park. I grab a piece of paper and scribble a note. My last note I grab my bag and get out of my car. I lock it and drop the keys into my bag. I walk until I'm in the middle of a bridge which is currently empty. There's no one in sight, therefore no one to stop me.

''I was blessed with a curse. A curse of depression. A curse that's slowly eatting away at who I am. Who I was. I was Lacey Gunia. I was an honor student in High School. I was the daughter of two people who appeared to love each other dearly but behind closed doors it was different. I wasn't going to do this. But I cannot live with my curse anymore. This is why I planned this, this is why I'm doing this. If you read this you must remind yourselfs to judge yourself before you judge me. I'm sorry I'm doing this. I love you all. And I promise, we will all be together again. One day.''

I read over it again and again. I put it in my bag and tied it to the pole. I'm usually afraid of heights like this. I'd usually be screaming bloody murder if I was up this high any other time. But right now, none of that matters. I hold back tears as I sit down, cross-legged and think about this. Is this the right thing to do? Yes, it is. It's the only way to get away from this curse. I need to do this. My hands ball into fists and I push myself up off the ground and face the water one more time. I take a deep breath and the wind blows my hair into my face, though it's not really horrible. My eyes linger down to the water and I step back one step, my heart starting to race. Then, I run. I feel myself start to fall...then I'm jolted to a stop. Someone's stopped me. I'm not falling to my death anymore. I look up to see who'd caught my arm. I look right up into a man's blue eyes. Who is this man? Why is he helping a no one like me....?

He pulls me up. I'm startled beyond belief. "Can I tell you something?" He asks. I nod. "OK. Can I tell you about the gods? And after, if you still want to, you can jump---and I won't stop you." He says.

''Stupid. There's no god or gods. He'll waste his breathe. ''I murmer mentally. But, I nod and sit. He explains about how the gods are still real and about how they do care for their children. How they wouldn't want me to do this, about how life wi,ll start looking up, I just need to give it a push.

"Where is help?" I ask the blue-eyed man.

"Everywhere." He replies.

"Can you help me?"

"Do you want help?" He asks. "Do you still want to jump?" He asks, this time softly. I look out at the water, the waves, the sunset. The crashing sound calms me, though I'm not sure why. Do I want to jump? All last night, all this morning, That's all I thought about. How I was just goinig to end it all today. How all the pain, physical and mental scarrs are just going to disappear. But now that I think about it, maybe just committing suicide would deepen these scarrs. Maybe it would just hurt the people who do love me. I've only thought about me. I didn't think about my parents, about my friends. If I killed myself, I know they'd beat themselves up over it, possibly thinking "Was I the one who pushed her to her limit?" and I if I love them...I wouldn't put them through that. My decision's clear.

"Yes, I want help...and no, I don't want to jump anymore." I say. The blue-eyed man smiles and holds his hand out to me, offering me a hand up. I take it and I stand up.