The Demigod Grand Prix 2013/Announcers

Opening Announcers
Hephaestus: Hello everyone and welcome to the first annual Grand Prix. I am Hephaestus, god of forges and machinery. I will also be your host for this amazing event, where demigods test their skills and their machines against each other.

*Rainbow appears in the seat next to Hephaestus*

Iris: Hi everyone! I will be your co-host for this event. I’m Iris, goddess of the rainbow.

Hephaestus: Iris? What are you doing here? You don’t know anything about machines.

Iris: Zeus asked me to be the color commentator for this little race. I thought it was perfect!

Hephaestus: That has to be the worst pun I have ever heard.

Iris: Much more where that came from!

Hephaestus: Let’s hope not. But anyway Iris, this is no little race. This race will span the entire length of America, starting at Camp Jupiter in California and ending in Camp Half-Blood all the way in Long Island, New York.

Iris: A trip like that could take days to finish! How do they plan to do it?

Hephaestus: With these!

*A monitor behind them cycles through all the cars on a loop*

Hephaestus: These amazing machines were designed by the gods to be the ultimate in racing genius. They are outfitted with weapons of all kinds and the drivers were picked by the gods themselves.

Iris: Weapons of all kinds? What do you mean?

Hephaestus: Well let’s look at this car.

*Monitor stops at the Aphrodite car*

Iris: Wow, that is the second most amount of pink I have ever seen.

Hephaestus: That is right…wait, second most amount? What could possibly be the first?

Iris: Well, I was doing the wash on Olympus and I may have tossed a red sock into the wash with all of Ares’ white biker t-shirts.

Hephaestus: Yes, well, moving on. Not only is this car a sight to behold, just like the goddess of beauty herself, but it can also release birds and plants sacred to Aphrodite. It can also fire pink apples that can disable the weapons on other cars.

Iris: That car is the apple of my eye. And Miss Quinn is so appealing in her driver outfit. I wish I could just sit be cider the whole race.

Hephaestus: *facepalm* Anyway, getting back to the cars. Every car to complete this race will need to be able to fly to a limited extent and move in water.

Iris: But wouldn’t that mean you could just fly over obstacles and other drivers?

Hephaestus: That is a good question. Until the time is needed, I have installed each car with a device that will lock these features until they pass a checkpoint.

Iris: That sounds so cool. So where are these checkpoints?

Hephaestus: For that, we go to the god of roads himself, Hermes.

*Hermes appears in a flash of light*

Hermes: No, I told you that the Limited Edition Hydra teeth go to Chiron and the dozen red roses are for Charon. What’s Charon going to do with a bunch of Hydra teeth?

Iris: Um, Hermes?

*Hermes takes a look around*

Hermes: Right, call you back. So, Iris and Hephaestus, what’s up?

Hephaestus: We were talking about the race track.

Hermes: As you should. It is some of my best work yet. The track itself extends all the way across the nation, with stops in Las Vegas, the Grand Canyon, Denver, Kansas City, St. Louis, and that is only the first half of the race. I also have a few surprises along the way at each checkpoint and a few more surprises along the entire track.

Hephaestus: And about the track, how are you keeping this race hidden from the Mortal world?

Hermes: Simple enough. To them, it will just look like a road work area. The entire race is basically running right under their noses.

Iris: Won’t that bother all those people that will be stuck in traffic?

Hermes: Probably…

*Awkward silence…*

Hephaestus: Oh, it appears the first couple racers are approaching the starting line.

Iris: Then let’s go to our announcer on the racing floor.

Hephaestus: Who do we have on the racing floor?

*Monitor switches over to the starting line*

Fleecy: Hi everyone! It is a beautiful day for a race. The clouds are just gorgeous and seem to be blocking out the sun just enough to not bother the drivers.

Iris: Can you talk to any of the racers?

Fleecy: Sure, there’s one now!

*Walks over to a guy on a motorcycle*

Fleecy: Hey, what’s up?

Joseph Mierek: Not much, just getting ready to win this race.

Fleecy: You seem pretty confident about that.

Joseph Mierek: I’m always confident. I am a son of Zeus after all and I plan on making him proud by winning this race in his name.

Fleecy: Cool. So I’ll let you get to it and good luck in the race.

Joseph Mierek: Thanks a lot, but I don’t think I’ll need too much luck. It’s all skill.

*Fleecy notices another car*

Fleecy: Oh, and what is this scary looking motorcycle pulling up. It looks like someone took the bones of the human body and made a bike out of them. Let’s go say hi to the driver.

*Walks over to the motorcycle*

Fleecy: Yo.

Driver: Hi…

*Awkward silence*

Fleecy: So…what is your name and who are you representing?

Damiko Thorne: I’m Damiko Thorne, and I’m racing on Hades’ behalf.

Fleecy: Sounds pretty cool. Do all the Big Three drivers have motorcycles?

Damiko Thorne: Don’t know, as I haven’t seen who is driving for Poseidon. Probably Percy Jackson, as he is one of the most famous of his children, but like I said, it could be anyone.

Fleecy: So tell us about your bike. What can it do?

Damiko Thorne: Without giving too much away, I just want to saw that I feel bad for anyone that isn’t prepared for a change in scenery.

Fleecy: That’s pretty cryptic…no pun intended.

Damiko Thorne: Cryptic is kind of what I was going for. Do you think I pulled it off?

Fleecy: Yup, you totally nailed it! I have goose bumps. Good luck in the race.

Damiko Thorne: Thanks.

Fleecy: That is it for now! Back to you in the studio.

Iris: Thanks Fleecy. She is such a good cloud nymph.

Hermes: I just hope she doesn’t get mad and…storm off.

Iris: Oh, that was a good one. What about…You can never forecast how Fleecy will act.

Hermes: That was good too. How About…

Hephaestus: How about not. With more racers pouring into the stadium, it looks like this race is about to start!

Iris: Nice pun Hephaestus.

Hephaestus: What?

Hermes: Pouring into the stadium. You do have a sense of humor.

Hephaestus: Let’s just go to the race.

*Camera moves to the starting line*