Luke and Hermes Make Toast

(Crackfic) Luke and Hermes are making toast when they run out of grape jam. Will it be the end of the world? Contains Insane!Luke, Lesbian!Clarisse, Bulimic!Annabeth, Prep!Thalia, and many other crazy things. --Sparrowsong 22:20, November 24, 2009 (UTC)

P.S. Everyone is extremely OOC. Except Dionysus, who is actually relatively IC.

Chapter One
For no particular reason, Luke and Hermes were making mountains after mountains after mountains of toast. They had been at it for 3 days straight and didn't intend to stop anytime soon.

"You want some toast?!" Luke sang to some random Hannah Montana song. "I think you do!"

''"Please add some jam and some butter too!" ''sang Hermes.

Luke paused and went looking for Hermes's favorite jam. He came back empty-handed.

''"We're out of grape! So sad! It's all your fault, you bad dad!" ''sang Luke.

Hermes crossed his arms.

"You know what, son?" he asked.

"Yeah, Dad?" answered Luke.

"You got nerve!" exclaimed Hermes.

After they were done acting like idiots, Luke broke down crying on the floor.

"Waaaa!" he sobbed. "We're out of grape jam! So horrible! It's all my fault!"

"No, it's not!" Hermes exclaimed.

"Yes, it is," his whiny son blubbered.

Annabeth, who was suddenly so thin she made Paris Hilton look hideously obese, ran to the bathroom and puked her guts out.

"I'm bulimic!" she proudly announced, smiling and wiping the vomit off her mouth.

"That's nice," sighed Dionysus.

Luke stood up.

"You know what, Dad?!" he screamed. "We're gonna go out, searching the world for grape jam! How about we get at least one jar from every country?"

Hermes nodded.

"What a wonderful idea, Luke!"

And so, they got into a tiny, tiny, tiny wooden boat and sailed around the Earth, collecting as much grape jam as possible.

Meanwhile, Thalia was shopping in Hollister. She had her hot pink iPod on. It was decorated with rainbow unicorn stickers and packed with songs by Hilary Duff, Jonas Brothers, Justin Timberlake, and Justin Bieber.

"Like, OMG!" she yelled. "It's a purple Hannah Montana t-shirt! I have to have it!"

She spent all her money on the designer clothes.