The Adventures of the Olympians:Chapter 1:Who is the Most Beautiful Goddess?

Starring
Aphrodite, Hera and Athena

Who is the Most Beautiful Goddess?
It was a fine, sunny day. The sun shone brightly in the sky. Apollo was doing his job well. His chariot seems to be in good condition and he was a good mood. Wind blew through the lush trees if Demeter's fields and leaves rustled on the ground. On the gardens of Mount Olympus sat three of the four Olympian goddesses: Hera, Aphrodite and Athena. They were talking about "girly stuff" like favorite make-up (this includes lipstick color, foundation color and even nail polish color), favorite bath soap, favorite lotion and every beautifying tools you could find either in the bathroom, bedroom or even your salon down at the mortal world.

"What's your favorite deodorant, Aphrodite?", Athena asked after an hour of endless talking.

Aphrodite smiled and brought out a small purse. She opened it. It was a grooming kit, something that keeps you pretty even if you're in the desert. A woman's first-aid kit when it comes to guarding your face. She brought out a deodorant bottle. She held it in between her fingers as if she was advertising. "Oh this! Nivea! Why? Because it gives you that 'shower' feeling!", she said with a matching giggle, pretty creepy enough.

"How about you, Hera? Do you have any favorite deodorant?", Athena asked further after Aphrodite's reply.

Hera laughed a bit on the crazy side with her hand flapping. "Ohh, my favorite deodorant?", she cooed then she stood up with her legs wide open while she held a deodorant bottle that seems to be flashing. "My favorite deodorant is.....", she said as she spinned to reveal her favorite, but to no avail, she tripped of her own gown. The bottle tumbled to the ground.

The two other goddesses supressed a giggle as they looked on the bottle. "Oh! You use Rexona Passion!", Athena screamed.

"Are you using that to allure Zeus? If so, why try hard? I mean, Zeus can't get enough of other girls, even MEN. He liked that handsome warrior Ganymede as if he had a crush on him! And Io, the one you turned into a cow! Of all things you can change that woman, you changed her into that?! Whoa, Hera!", Aphrodite screamed.

Hera quickly stood up. Her mood has changed into something, well, ugly. She felt insulted. "They deserve that! They deserve that because they're beautiful! If they weren't like that, my honey won't lay a finger on them!", Hera replied back while dusting off the dirt on her gown.

Aphrodite flashed a 'bad girl' smile. "Oh ho ho... Then what do you think of yourself then, beautiful? Astonishingly pretty? No doubt that you're gorgeous and elegant? What, Hera?", she said.

Hera thought of it. If Zeus and her had a son named Hephaestus, which she got angry because he's ugly, then Zeus flirted with other women, leaving him and her to one ugly son, then.... the point of Aphrodite struck to her head. She became angry. "Are you saying I'm....I'm....UGLY?!", she yelled.

Athena shook her head. "Come on guys, let's get back to our main topic, okay? Let's be rational!", she reasoned to the two.

Aphrodite and Hera looked at her with sullen faces. "Are you beautiful, Athena? Tell me, are YOU beautiful?", they said in a creepy tone. Not to mention they said it simultaneously.

Athena backed down as she know it will just result in a fight. "Um, just continue with it, okay? I'll...oh! I'll just take care of Aphrodite's purse. You never know, it might get dirty.", she said as she went away.

The two looked at each other with different faces. Hera with an angry look while Aphrodite in a triumphant mood. "Now, back to the topic.....ARE YOU SAYING THAT I'M UGLY?!", Hera suddenly yelled at Aphrodite.

Aphrodite replied, "Then that means, I beautiful, right?".

Hera became angrier. "Do you have any reason why you're beautiful, huh?!", she screamed at her. She felt her blood rush faster.

Aphrodite calmly said, "Number one:I'm the goddess of beauty. Number two:many men have fallen in love with me. Number three:I had beautiful children like Drew. And number four:I prettier than you." with a maniacal smile.

Hera became enraged. "Then do you know how you were born, hmmm?!", she yelled louder.

Aphrodite let the words pass through her ears but eventually, she let it sink in. Then she remembered how she was born. Well, that was, um, disgusting or embarassing. Aphrodite became angry too. "Then tell me, how many men have you dated with and how many women have your husband dated with?!", she yelled at her.

Hera began counting her men. Ding. Zero, she thought. Then she began with Zeus' other women. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven...."Argh! Well, so what? That doesn't prove I'm ugly!", she said but she remembered her thought moments ago. "Argh!!!", she yelled.

Aphrodite replied while her mood became calmer, "Remember what Keri Hilson sang in Pretty Girl Rock?". Then she sang, "Jealousy is the ugliest trait. I'll never do it! I can talk about it cause I know that I'm pretty!".

Hera put her head in her hands. Then screamed, "Argh!!!!".

Aphrodite continued singing Pretty Girl Rock with a fully triumphant look on her face as Hera wailed after her realization.

And so, Aphrodite have won the battle. She was the most beautiful goddess. That's pretty common sense, right?

Meanwhile, at Athena's place....

"I'll show them who's pretty!", she said to herself as she brought out all of Aphrodite's stuff from the purse. She began putting deep red lipstick, put heavy white foundation on her face and put black eyeliner. When she looked on the mirror, she screamed in horror. She looked like a clown. "Argh!!!!", she screamed.

Hera and Athena screamed the same words of loss while Aphrodite screamed the song of the beautiful.

'''Next chapter: Chapter 2:Horror Movie! '''