Save Me: Prologue

The demon had finally let me go, and I tried to tame my shaking breath. My eyes felt far too watery to open. I had mastered not sobbing by this point in time, despite how much I sought to do so. Within my mind lingered questions of love. Whether anyone near wished to save me from this living hell, or if they were more content turning their blind eye to my suffering. I knew in my mind that my ticket to freedom and happiness rested beneath me. My heart told me I could never do something like that. Such an ability couldn’t be resting within me.

They aren’t helping you, My mind fought. they’re showing you that you are not to rely on anyone but yourself. There are other ways, My heart told me. this isn’t you. That thing isn’t you. Your pain doesn’t need to reign your life. My mind made a better fight. My pain wasn’t bearable. It was stronger than my mind, and it was slowly driving me into insanity’s arms. It was a blissful haven, but it killed my mind. The more I went there, the more it insisted I never leave. It told me this ends tonight. I could fill it gently grab my hand and throw it over the side of the bed. Then it continued, fastening the gun in the palm of my hands; my index finger slipping in front of the trigger.

What happened next was one quick, fluent motion. I rolled over, placing my pillow on top of his face, aiming the gun at point-blank and pulling the trigger. The white pillow went dark crimson instantly. Then it was over. I rolled back over, breathing heavy again. It was over, it had been done. It was over. It had been done. My suffering was over?

The heavy footsteps of a man began coming down the hallway. I barely had time to process the sound, and give a name to it before the door opened and my older brother stood there with the look of discouragement upon his face. I sat up and looked into his eyes as his head began to slowly sway back and forth. In that moment, I believed he could finally see my inner sorrow. I believe he could finally see what I longed for him to see so long ago. Slowly he walked over to the side of the bed I was on and pulled me into his arms.

“Oh, Stella.” He whispered so softly. “Oh Stella. What have you done?” That was all he could say. He believed I had such a thing within just as much as I did. “Why didn’t I help you before?” I shook my head so ever slightly.

“We need Cate. This can’t stay here…Mom can’t find out, Lucian. She’ll hurt me.” For the first time in a long time, I sounded like a little child again. My voice small and soft and full of fear. I was afraid of my mother’s wrath. Lucian began to weep quietly into my neck. His loving embrace tightened. The guilt radiated from him like the suns radiates heat.

Suddenly he just let me go and exited the room. The silence yet again overtook me with evil thoughts. An eternity passed before he returned with Cate.

Immediately her brown eyes went large with shock. She repeated what Lucian had first said.

“Oh, Stella…” The tone was a perfect twin to my brother’s. All I could do is look up at her with a pleading gaze, silently begging her not to judge my choice. She covered her mouth with both of her hands. “Lucian…go get the shovel. We need to hide the body before mom returns. Stella…get the sheets and hurry and wash them.” She approached me in the same way Lucian did. Cate pushes a piece of my hair back behind my ear. “Okay? Don’t worry, Stella. It’ll all be okay.”

We all went to work right away. Cate dragged the body off to the bathroom and I stripped the bed of all dressings. Lucian headed right for the garage. My thoughts brought up questions of the future as I did this. I knew my siblings and I would no longer be able to stay here. We would have to go, and run from the police now. I was a murderer, and they were my accomplices. I had damned us all.

Within ten minutes, we all were in heading through the nearby woods. Cate carried the shovel, and had passed the body over to Lucian, whom carried it over his shoulder. No one spoke. Because no one had words to say. Suddenly Cate stopped over a patch of clear ground. “Here,” She told Lucian. He threw the body down and took the shovel back and began digging a deep hole. Cate looked up to me while he did this.

“When we get back, I want you to go get four bags. I want you to pack, same for you, Lucian. I’ll get Seth together. Then get a small bag of water bottles and food. We’re leaving tonight, before Mother gets home from work. We don’t want to hang around and see how this resolves itself.”

Lucian rolled my victim over into the hole, and both Lucian and Cate covered the hole with the dirt. I covered it with dead leaves, and we quickly went home to begin our escape plan.