Talk:Layla's Diary

Chapter 1 Critique
First off, I wanted to comment on how clever it was to tell Layla's story through the words of her diary. It is definitely a technique that can be used to carry out most of the story, if not all.

Now, on to my expectations for the story. I've noticed that there a couple of characters mentioned during the scene of Layla's birthday party. Some of these characters have no blood relation to her, unlike the majority of the attending demigods. What I'm expecting, or looking forward to as a reader, is some kind of development as far as relationship, romantic or not, with said characters. Some backstory on some characters or settings would also help portray what Layla is experiencing. Furthermore, a call to action, or some kind of initiation of a quest would be nice to see. I mean, a story without conflict is no story at all. Of course, this is only the first chapter, so its okay to not necessarily have the end of the world upon the kids from the get-go.

As you had requested, I do have some, more like one, character to throw into the mix. Here's his profile:

Daniel Oak - son of Jeremy Oak (son of Apollo) and Margaret Thatcher-Oak (daughter of Venus)

Daniel is a Greco-Roman demigod who holds attendance in both camps, spending his summers in Camp Jupiter in the Twelfth Legion's Third Cohort, while he spends the rest of the year at Camp Half-blood. Being both Greek and Roman, Daniel is often cast out from the social scene. He is very close friends with Trent Epperson, whose halfway house he often visits. The Greco-Roman legacy is very tall for his age of 16 years old, but thin and lanky. He has blond hair and charming attitude that usually gets him on people's good sides, for the most part. Daniel is a prodigy in archery, as granted by his grandfather, Apollo, and is proficient in the use of daggers.

Interitus1994 (talk) 09:55, July 15, 2012 (UTC)