Ode to the Serpent

Ode to the Serpent is a companion to Where the Self Resides. -Leafwhisker 05:56, January 25, 2016 (UTC) =Part One= The snow comes as a comfort, occasionally. The soft white flakes blanketing the ground stir something akin to joy in the kids here as if they haven't seen it a thousand times before. Their smiles brighten the world, albeit only slightly, and they pelt each other with snowballs in the safety of the neighborhood streets gated off by walls just high enough to ward off monsters. They don't always help; even with this bitter cold some are starving enough to slam into the wall.

Their immortality must be a curse these days.

Truthfully, Nadia can't imagine why anyone would want children now if you're only raising them in a world like this, especially if your only protection is the solidarity of a once-ordinary neighborhood. But perhaps Nadia underestimates them. They hope they do; too many people have died already.

“Thank you so much for bringing us new supplies.” Margaret hugs Nadia again, and even though they aren't short they feel strangely overwhelmed by the affection. She's a mother of one, forty-six years old and still managing to climb up the wall to inspect it when everyone else is busy, and the tentative leader of the little community. Everyone looks to her for guidance when spirits begin to collectively fall.

Nadia smiles. “You're welcome, but it was honestly nothing. We need to stick together if we want to save ourselves.”

Margaret pulls away with a smile. A snowball hits the back of her coat with a thump, and when she turns around her son Luke is smiling up at her innocently. His dark brown eyes widen in the imitation of puppy eyes, and Margaret's smile softens. “Luke, you know how I feel about snow in the house.”

“We aren't in the house,” Luke points out with a lift of his chin. “This is the porch, but we aren't inside.” He crosses his arms over his chest as if he's proving a point. Margaret sighs. She gently nudges Luke out of the way with a disapproving frown that all three of them know is just an act. Luke disappears inside the house of one of the neighborhood kids with the speed of a bolt. “Do you think you can get some more supplies for us within the next few weeks?” Margaret asks Nadia once she turns her attention back to them. “I wouldn't normally ask so suddenly, but even our usual outposts have been impeded by this snow.”

Nadia nods. “I'll try, but first I need to go further east. Once I return to San Francisco I'll see what I can do.”

Margaret smiles again. “Thank you. How long will you be staying?”

“Just tonight,” Nadia replies, “Gabriel and I will leave first thing next morning.” They nod at Margaret before stepping down from the porch “Thank you again for letting us stay here.”

“It was the least we could do. Travel safely, now.” Margaret warns, “Everything northeast of us is much worse than here.”

Nadia smiles. “Will do.” They turn around and walk trudge through the snow towards the two-story house with a line of wooden stakes hammered into the now-frozen soil. According to Margaret, the brick house was once her own home before she began using it as a guest house for stragglers who visited the neighborhood during the early days of the apocalypse. Those days, people still believed that something could be done, that the peril would eventually pass in weeks or months. Once the gods all finally faded, however, so did the collective hope of the people.

Once they step inside the foyer, they unzip their nylon coat, hang it on the coat rack, and kick the snow off their boots on the rug before taking them off. They run their fingers through their braid to untangle it as their footsteps tread lightly across the floor. They would have preferred to be back at San Francisco weeks ago before this snow hit, truthfully. Both of them would have preferred that, but Nadia strongly suspects Gabriel doesn't mind as much as they do.

Noticing him snoring beneath a pile of blankets on the tacky floral patterned couch, Nadia takes off their right sock and throws it in his face. “Get up,” they demand. “we need to go over our plans.”

Gabriel mumbles something unintelligible and rolls over so his back faces Nadia. “Go away,” he mumbles.

“No.” Nadia prods his shoulder. “Gabriel, come on.” Gabriel huffs in annoyance, tosses the sock on the floor, and finally sits up with exaggerated slowness. The circles under his hazel eyes are just as noticeable as they had been this morning when he'd been awake.

“I'm up.” he proclaims although he doesn't budge from the couch. Instead, he wraps the blankets around his body so only his head sticks out. “What do you need to talk about? We already went over the plan. We get information on the Leviathan cult, we go back to San Francisco, we deliver the news and something happens that we don't have to worry about.”

“What if we're split up? We need a plan of action in case this storm impedes us.”

Gabriel rolls his eyes. His lips quirk upwards in a smile that those who didn't know him might call charming. “You worry too much." he comments, but he makes a point to sit up straighter. He lets the blankets fall from where they're covering his head so his messy dark brown hair becomes visible. “We could just stay here until the roads clear out. Hell, we could help out ourselves.” He pulls himself off the couch as if its sheer presence is weighing him down.

“No, we should leave as soon as we can. I've seen the roads, and they're in much better condition than they were when we first came here, but I'm worried another storm is going to hit – especially since we're going further east.” Nadia's hand reaches up to clasp the ring hanging from a chain around their neck. They sigh. “Why they had to send us out in the middle of winter is beyond me.”

Gabriel shrugs. He passes Nadia and wanders into the kitchen. “You want some tea?” he asks when Nadia follows him into the kitchen. Books and maps and other things litter the small wooden table off to the side of the room, and empty glasses and mugs occupy the space between them. The rest of the kitchen could sparkle with how clean it is, and if the table didn't exist and if this was the first room in the house you saw, you wouldn't be able to tell it was inhabited.

Nadia nods. “Sure.” They pull up a chair and look through the papers and old sticky notes, finding nothing short of unnecessary until they finally decide to look over the map of the United States. Their finger traces the dark red line mapping their journey starting at San Francisco and ending in some city in the middle of nowhere in the Midwest. Various circles are scattered throughout the rest of the map, and off to the side an illegible key has been drawn by Nadia.

Gabriel sets a mug next to Nadia then sits at the table across from them. “Looking for anything in particular?” he asks before bringing his own mug to his lips.

Nadia doesn't say anything for a few moments, instead letting their eyes look over the map as if some semblance of a plan will formulate in their head if they stare at it for long enough. “No.” they finally say. They fold up the map so it's in somewhat better condition than before. “It should take us around eighteen hours to get there from where we are, but if we factor in unknown conditions it will possibly take much longer.”

“How long?”

Nadia sighs. “I don't know. Over a day at least.” There's always the possibility of more snowfall as well, and there's always the possibility that they'll get stranded out there even if their car has been fine with handling the snow so far. So many what ifs that Nadia finds themself fiddling with the ring around their neck again. On the good days, it is little more than a barely noticeable weight against the hollow of their throat. On the bad, well, it becomes worse.

Gabriel frowns as his gaze falls to Nadia's neck where their hand is clasping around the ring. “It'll be fine.” he assures them.

Nadia nods, takes their hand from the ring, and lets their hands rest around the mug of tea now growing cold. The mug itself reads #1 Boss in block letters, and the surface is just as clean as the kitchen itself. Nadia finishes the tea with slowly before standing from the table after one final look at the mess it presents.

“I'm going to start packing the car,” they tell Gabriel who nods. “you want to help?”

“Sure.” After he stands, his eyes flicker to Nadia's feet and the corners of his mouth quirk upwards. He points with his toe to Nadia's bare foot. “You might want to put on your other sock first.” he suggests and grins at the halfhearted eye roll Nadia gives him. He gathers the papers and books in his arms and exits the kitchen while Nadia goes up to their room.

Pictures of Margaret's family adorn the walls, and a man Nadia knows only in these pictures always stands beside her with his arm around her. Occasionally, children dot the frames yet only when a woman with dyed cherry-red hair exists within the captured space, a woman who Nadia suspects was Margaret's sister. Perhaps they are other reason Margaret left this house to the bedraggled.

They begin paying the pictures no heed once the stairs give way to a small hallway with doors to the left, right, and one straight ahead. The master bedroom and guest bedroom look exactly the same in design, but when Nadia steps inside something has been forgotten among the pristine white sheets and earthen pale brown walls and the floorboards that creak now out of obligation. They feel as if they are intruding, and occasionally they wish they had slept on the couch instead of this room.

The dresser, instead of immaculate blouses and slacks and well-kept sweaters holds jeans now faded and sweatshirts and long-sleeve shirts a hair too large or too small. Everything exists to keep warmth in, now. A crossbow rests on top instead of pictures, and aside it a small swiss army knife rests between pistols. The ammo Nadia has already packed away.

They start with the clothes, then the shoes followed by weapons. The blankets Nadia leaves on the bed, so they take the bags they've packed and go back downstairs where Gabriel holds his own bags. The action is redundant, so they don't speak as they place the bags in the car. The children still play in the snow even though the sun is falling. Slowly, but nonetheless it happens. Some of the older ones wave at them, and even the younger ones offer their own greetings by way of pelted snowballs. Most of them miss, but one hits Nadia square in the heart and another in Gabriel's right shoulder. Nadia will miss the community.

Before departing the following morning, Nadia makes tea for the two of them after everything has been packed. Gabriel sits across Nadia and studies the blankness of the table. Even if they were only papers, ghosts still linger in the empty spaces here.

“I went out and looked at the roads yesterday,” he begins after setting his mug down. “and they're icy enough that we'll have to move slowly. Also, that son of Khione mentioned it will snow again within a couple days, maybe less.” Gabriel frowns. “He's never specific when you talk to him, as if because he's a demigod he has to be as cryptic as he can.”

Nadia sighs. Thinks about their words. “Thanks for letting me know.”

Gabriel nods. “It was my pleasure.” He smiles as if it lightens the tension, and Nadia supposes it does. Gabriel cleans the mugs once their finished while Nadia packs the rest of the blankets and sleeping bags. Once Nadia settles in the drivers seat of the van and the community waves at them, the gates before them open and into the unknown they disappear.

The snowfall begins three hours in. Gabriel wraps his arms around his torso but doesn't say anything until balls of ice the size of baseballs bounce off the windshield. The small cracks form a pit in Nadia's stomach. Their fingers tighten around the steering wheel, but they still drive. Gabriel shifts when he swears he sees something beyond the swirling snow, but his comments never become prophecies.

After four hours in, Nadia stops at what used to be a library the shelves of books. They only went in at Gabriel's insistence they look for something for Sam and Sarah, although Nadia figures that Sarah will appreciate the gift more.

While Gabriel rummages through the shelves half-empty, Nadia opens a can of peaches which Margaret gave them among other supplies. They finish the can and start looking through the book themself before Gabriel finally comes back into the front entrance with a stack of books that nearly goes over his head. He lets them fall in a heap on a table then starts sorting them.

“Do you think Sam would appreciate a book about gardening?” he asks as he flips the pages of a book full of diagrams. He evidently decides she would and sets it aside without waiting for input.

Nadia leafs through the nearest book, their fingers ghosting over the pages and catching diagrams of dismantled vehicles before they finally realize it's an automobile repair book. Maybe the stop wasn't bad after all they think while setting it on top of the stack Gabriel slowly adds to.

“I wonder how many people used this place before.” Gabriel muses more to himself than to Nadia. He sets a historical book on the pile after a brief skim through the pages, then straightens his back to stare up at the ceiling. Although he's shorter than Nadia by a few inches, he looks much greater here as if this is the place where he truly exists. “So many things lost in time,” he murmurs to himself, and Nadia supposes they agree with him. Supposes this place has ghosts of its own never listened to.

They finally go back on the road with Nadia in the passenger seat. Gabriel prompts them to sleep a few hours in, yet Nadia, after looking over the map, looks through the books Gabriel had taken from the library instead. Once, Nadia had thought about teaching themself skills though the books saved in the various libraries in San Francisco, but they never followed through with the plan. Other situations always arose, other places had to be scouted out, other people had to be introduced to the city.

“Nadia?” Gabriel begins as he slows the car and the wind picks up outside. “We should try to fix the heater at San Francisco. Since you have that book.” he gestures to the volume in Nadia's hands before huffing at the road ahead.

“I was thinking about that, but we might be able to find the right tools elsewhere.” Nadia doubts anyone else would have found them as useful as food or clean clothes or water, and in a city as large as this one with its arching buildings now barren Nadia imagines they can find the right materials somewhere.

“Maybe.” A silence falls between the two before Gabriel asks “Have you ever been to the east coast before? Not out scouting or anything, but before all this happened.”

“A few times. My parents had a cabin in Maine where my family would stay in the summer, but we didn't go that often because they always had other things to worry about.” Nadia pauses. “What about you?”

Gabriel shakes his head. “My dad didn't like traveling much, and my mom couldn't stand the ocean.”

“Look at you. You're basically the antithesis of both of them.”

“Pretty much.” Even if Nadia doesn't look at him, they know he's smiling.

They eventually fall asleep but not out of their own volition. Nadia assumes the chill seeping into the car wakes them up once the night sets in, and when they wake up Gabriel is passed out in the driver's seat with several blankets covering his body; Nadia notices he's given them their own blankets to fend off the cold.

As Nadia sits up, the blankets fall from their shoulders. They light a lantern, momentarily set it on the dashboard while they open the car door, and frown when they hear the tap of boots against concrete rather than the crunch of snow underfoot. They stretch their arm holding the lantern out and faintly see the columns of concrete beyond the glow of light. Overhead, a department building probably exists – one with supplies they might not need but should bring back for the people in the city.

Or, rather they hope it has supplies.

The wind howls outside the underground garage as Nadia, now with their crossbow slung across their back, looks for the entrance of the store; they don't notice Gabriel's footsteps behind them until he speaks up. “Looking for something?”

Nadia jumps, then they exhale once they realize it's Gabriel walking in their line of sight. Even in the dim light Nadia can see his amused smile. “I finally scared you, but somehow it's not quite as memorable as I thought it would be.” he muses to himself.

“Shut up, you just startled me.” Nadia says, but their words don't hold any venom. They force their mouth to remain in a tight line as they ask “How was the weather getting here?”

“The same.” Gabriel admits. He falls in step with Nadia as they continue to search for the entrance, or whatever might be left of it. Nadia eventually spots the permanently open automatic door when they go around a smashed in Honda civic, and they don't waste any time in jogging towards it. A dim fluorescent light flickers overhead when they and Gabriel step inside the store, and as they walk up the broken escalator a chill runs down Nadia's spine. Lights flicker throughout the store, briefly washing them and everything which exists in the store in darkness, before coming on again.

Nadia isn't sure which is worse: having poor electricity or having none at all.

Metal carts rest in a pile against the automatic doors and from the cash registers at check out stands money pours to the ground. Nadia's boots stick to the floor briefly after they step in something dark and unidentifiable, and they finally notice the small winged creatures flitting about the store when they look up at the ceiling.

“This place is creepy.” Gabriel murmurs as he steps over a shoe. Mud dries all around it, and the material has been torn from the outside in. Dark flecks decorate the light brown leather as a splatter. Nadia almost wonders what happened to the owner.

“Stay close.” Nadia replies as they reach for a box of bandaids. When they peek inside, it's been emptied. The rest of the shelves have been emptied of their contents, and what hasn't been taken rests dirty one the floor; Nadia shouldn't be surprised, yet they wish something beneficial might have come from their short expedition. Out of everything in San Francisco, the city needs medical supplies the most even with the constant scavenging and trading.

Racks of clothes rest piled on top of each other collecting dust and dirt and whichever else as Nadia and Gabriel pass them, and the scent of something foul prompts Nadia to cover their nose with the sleeve of their coat. “What are you even looking for?” Gabriel asks as Nadia leads them through an empty aisle now with plastic bags degrading on the floor.

“Anything useful,” Nadia replies, “preferably tools, or even clothes or blankets in decent condition.”

“A pillow would be nice.” Gabriel's hand brushes against one, and he pulls it away with a grimace. “Someone's cat must have attacked mine because it's all pillow feathers now.” Nadia stops. They raise their eyebrows at Gabriel who mirrors their confusion. “I gave you one of mine, what happened to that one?”

“You did?”

“Yes.”

Gabriel shrugs. “I guess someone stole it.” He starts walking in front of Nadia so they don't see his expression.

Nadia sighs. “You need to get a proper lock on your apartment. Sarah can help you, you know.” They kick an upended plastic storage tub aside with their foot.

Gabriel shakes his head. “I wouldn't want to bother her. Besides, I've gotten used to people stealing my stuff.”

“You shouldn't have had to.” Nadia notices a rusting knife beside an unopened bag of cat litter on one of the shelves, and they briefly wonder why cat litter exists in an aisle exclusively for kitchenware. They pocket a small package holding a paring knife after some thought then begin walking again right when Gabriel stops. Nadia almost says something, but the rigidity of his body makes them hold their tongue. Then, slowly, he takes out his own dagger right when Nadia notices the small, skinny sleeping hellhound in front a few yards in front of him. It rests sandwiched between two shelves that have been knocked over, and every few seconds its body shakes.

As Nadia slowly follows Gabriel around it, they notice tufts of fur missing on various spots on the hellhound's body, and even underneath the dim lightning Nadia can see its ribcage clearly through its fur. The smell of waste hits their nose when they finally allow themself to breath in, so they again cover the bottom half of their face with their sleeve.

Once they make it several yards away from the hellhound Nadia lets their arm fall from their face as they allow themself to breath normally again. Gabriel looks behind them frequently before the two find themselves in the sport supplies section that's surprisingly still intact. A tennis racket lies in the middle of the aisle. Gabriel picks it up, inspects it, and hangs it on one of the hooks.

“We should leave.” Gabriel says before they start moving. His foot starts tapping the floor, so Nadia nudges it with their own.

“I agree,” Nadia admits, “but there might still be stuff worth taking. If a hellhound is here, that might mean other people were scared off and the store hasn't been pilfered in its entirety.”

Gabriel looks at them a few seconds, his eyebrows raising, before he sighs. “Okay, fine. But as soon as something happens we're leaving.”

Nadia leads the two down aisles, picking up cans of food that, at the start of all this, people would have pushed aside for anything else, and finding a single pair of socks that they put in a discarded red plastic shopping basket. Other aisles echo the sports aisle; while their uses seem apparent now Nadia wouldn't be surprised if they're only still here because most people had the sense to leave the cities. Or, like so many, they were killed before they could properly empty the store. Gabriel often drifts behind them, his footsteps becoming nearly indiscernible in the quiet as the lights flicker on and off. Nadia keeps looking behind them to make sure he's still following them.

When the light flicker off for a few seconds longer, Nadia slips on something wet and their shoulder bumps into something that shatters on the floor. Dropping the basket, they grab the shelf with one hand and Gabriel grabs the back of their coat. Something starts blaring incessantly that sounds vaguely like a bird's screeching.

“Shit.” Nadia's eyes scan the broken glass on the floor before noticing the smear of blood on the floor and the lingering of metallic. They swallow, and Gabriel lets go of their coat.

“You okay?” he asks above the screeching, and Nadia nods.

“I'm fine, but we need to leave immediately.”

“I told you we should have before.”

Nadia frowns. “I know. You can rub it in my face later.” They take off running with Gabriel right behind them, and as the aisles blur around them the hair on the back of their neck raises and they swear they smell something distinctly sulphuric. They put a bolt in their crossbow and hold it in front of them as they run.

Gabriel shouts behind them, and a growling erupts behind Nadia before something smashes to the floor. Even before Nadia turns around, they hear a distinct dying moan. Gabriel pushes the hellhound's frail body off of him. Slowly, the hellhound's legs stop twitching and blood stops pouring from around the blade, and with its glassy eyes Nadia can't help but realize how much like a normal animal it looks.

Something curls in their stomach at the sight.

They turn their attention to Gabriel. “You okay?' they ask and he nods.

“Fine, I think. If not, I'll find the wounds later.” He shrugs as if the thought isn't that concerning, and then he pulls the dagger from the hellhound's throat. Neither he or Nadia waste another second before they start running towards the exit again; the screeching grows so intense that Nadia swears their eardrums are bleeding. Once or twice Gabriel stops them from running into a shelf until suddenly a wall of midnight blocks their path.

It looks as if the store ends, opening up into a cloudy midnight sky that looks as if it's been woven into a silken tapestry. The shrieking grows even louder, so much that Nadia's eyes can barely stay open and they swear their head will split in two. Gabriel sticks out his foot and prods the wall – and he jumps back when feathers ruffle. The wall shifts, scooting backwards until a beady eye larger than Nadia's eyes blinks at them.

Nadia's body tenses. Suddenly aware of the chill in the air, they look up and around them as if it will give them some answer as to how this thing got here. The screeching stops momentarily as the beast's eye shifts from Nadia to Gabriel, then it launches itself in the air and breaks a hole through the ceiling with such force that Nadia's surprised the ceiling doesn't start to cave in. Gabriel and Nadia barely run a few yards before the giant bird comes throttling back towards the ground.

“Get down!” Nadia yells as they wrap an arm around Gabriel's waist and pull them both towards a small upside down v-shape created by two shelves. They toss their crossbow a little in front of their body just before they land. Another ear-splitting screech echoes throughout Nadia's skull as shelves crash around each other, and waves of air currents blast them as if wind turbines have suddenly sprouted in the middle of the store. Nadia wraps their arms around their body to warm themself, and Gabriel noticeably shivers beside them. Another round of banshee-esque shrieks reverberate in Nadia's skull, and the shelves are knocked aside as if they're merely toothpicks.

Nadia grabs their crossbow off the floor and immediately aims it inside the bird's gapping bronze-colored beak where the fleshy dark pink throat is visible. The bolt buries itself in the bird's neck, looking like little more than a splinter, when it moves its head, and Nadia has half the mind to just toss the crossbow up at the monster before they come to their senses and sprint away. Gabriel pulls on their wrist and they both collide into a small sectioned area with different changing stalls marked by graying doors.

Nadia pushes themself off the ground, slings their crossbow across their back, and pushes open one of the stalls. A few plastic hangers litter the floor. Nadia kicks them aside with their boot as Gabriel step in beside them. He plops himself on the floor then stares at his reflection in the mirror and proceeds to try to wipe drying blood off of his chin.

Nadia decides to allow themself a break and sits beside them so their shoulders touch. They drag a hand through their braid now coming undone, and as they redo it the beast begins its screeching again, and Nadia wonders how long it will take for it to find them. They suppose the bird could bring the entire building to the ground, but something tells them it would rather keep its shelter intact for the time being.

“There was an entrance at the back of the building.” Gabriel says after a few moments of silence. Nadia turns and looks at him. “At the back,” he clarifies, “there was this huge hole in the wall. We wouldn't have seen it before, but as we were running to the garage I noticed it. That's how it got in.”

Nadia frowns. “What even is that thing? I've never seen anything like it.”

Gabriel shrugs. Another shriek fills the silence, this time sounding farther away, so Nadia wonders if its sense of smell is impeded by something or if it's just growing bored of looking for them. The silence, while not commonplace, causes the eventual slow of Nadia's heartbeat, and while the chill begins to subside they remind themself they need to leave. To disappear deeper into the cold. Yet for now, despite their mind urging them to move, they find the peace has too much of a grip over their bones.

Gabriel moves his legs so they stretch out in front of them. His once-completely brown hiking boots gray with dust, and flecks of blood create what look like icons in the material. He rubs at them with his hand once, twice, then obsessively as the giant bird's screeches echo throughout the building. Nadia makes a mental note to find him a new pair of shoes sometime.

“We should get moving.” Nadia's words tumble into the open air and spread out to fill the empty space. They breathe in through their nose. Exhale through their mouth. They almost wish their journey would end now, if only to cease the wandering.

“We should,” Gabriel agrees. He meets Nadia's gaze through the mirror; for a moment his hazel eyes look green. “but we should wait until we can't hear that thing anymore.” He pauses to wrap his arms around his torso. “I wish Sam was here.”

Nadia raises their eyebrows. “She's more than an endless supply of food you know.”

“I know. I was thinking more about the fact that she's basically a heater. It's always so damn cold out here, and she probably never notices it. Fucking demigods.”

“You don't mean that.”

Gabriel sighs. “No, I don't.” He pauses. “How did we end up here?”

Nadia shrugs. “I don't know anymore. This wasn't supposed to take this long.” “Guess we just have shit awful luck.”

“Or just you do.”

Gabriel rolls his eyes. “No, it's definitely you. You always take weeks to get back from your reconnaissance missions because the weather decides to fuck you over.”

“Maybe I'm just being thorough.”

“Thorough my ass. You'd half-ass dying if it were possible.” He frowns, and his gaze falls to where the carpet and the mirror meet. “But I probably would too.”

Nadia's foot nudges Gabriel's leg. “We only have a few more days out here, then we'll be back at San Francisco.” They smile – awkwardly, hesitantly – right as the sound of something smashing to the floor echoes throughout the building. Just when they thought they would be okay to leave.

“I know,” Gabriel says, “but being out here too long gets to you. I'm still not used to it.”

“No one is.” Nadia frowns at that because of course there are people like that. Kids who were born into this world who know nothing better, people like Sam and Sarah who have come to adapt to this world and all its sulphuric existence because they've found something good in the midst. Maybe they and Gabriel have just grown soft; surely there was a time where the months on end out here were familiar rather than foreign.

The steadying cacophony of the beast doesn't stop for what seems like hours – and perhaps such a lengthy amount of time already has passed. When Nadia's eyelids threaten to close, Gabriel jabs them in the ribs with his hand. He grins at their glare, and they comment how he should be the one dozing off instead of them. Gabriel responds that he can only fall asleep so easily when he knows he's not going to be mauled to death. Gradually, though, the shrieks disappear and the two are bathed in silence as if it were a baptism.

Nadia shifts. They stand up, offer Gabriel their hand, and ignore the way their body shivers. “Let's go.” they say before they step outside into the body department store. A blanket of white snow greets them – thin as it might be. Nadia still frowns.

“Nadia, come on.” Gabriel murmurs beside them, his voice a hairbreadth from Nadia's ear, so Nadia starts walking again. Slowly, they creep through the department store avoiding jet black feathers the size of their body and the rumble the bird left in its wake. Ages seem to pass before they finally find the broken escalator and run out into the embrace of the dark.

Nadia pulls open the passenger door and sighs once their body sinks into the seat. They cover their legs with blankets and wrap the last around their shoulders so it covers their arms and torso. Gabriel laughs at their appearance to which Nadia themself even smiles. Gabriel doesn't even bother to start the car for a few minutes.

“I can't believe we did that.” he murmurs. He adds, “Never talk me into exploring at night ever again when I don't have to.”

“It wasn't like we were going anywhere anyway.” Nadia replies cooly. “Driving at night in this weather is a death sentence.”

Gabriel raises his eyebrows. “And that wasn't?”

“I didn't know that thing would be there.”

“Speaking of that thing, what was it? It was never talked about in those classes at San Francisco.” Gabriel frowns. “It didn't seem particularly interested in finding us either.”

“It could have been protecting its territory,” Nadia realizes. “and once we left it didn't bother to chase after us. It had something to eat after all.”

“Maybe.” Gabriel sinks into the driver's seat after he pushes it back. “I'm going to get some sleep, you should too. Especially with what happened.”

Nadia shakes their head. “Someone should keep watch in case something happens.” They briefly look outside into the dark where they think concrete pillars should stand. “I could go back and look for the lantern.” they add, but the words are spoken more to be spoken rather than because they truly want to do it.

“Nadia,” Gabriel begins and Nadia looks at him. The dark circles under his eyes make him look sickly underneath the fluorescent light. “you need to sleep. We'll both be fine.”

“Fine.” Nadia relents. They push their seat back as far as it will go and bury themself underneath the blankets to capture the warmth that the cold still threatens. Eventually, although they don't know when, their eyes close and they drift away.

Nadia wakes up before Gabriel, so once he wakes up the two depart for the east again. The snowfall doesn't cease until a few hours on the road, but it makes no difference because they make several stops to clear the snow from the path and drive as slowly as possible to avoid crashing. When the two aren't clearing the roads, Gabriel sleeps with his entire body buried beneath the blankets so Nadia only sees the top of his hair. He wakes up sporadically, and when he does he strikes up conversation more for the sake of it rather than because he is genuinely interested in talking.

The buildings turn into frozen fields dusted with snow and occasionally Nadia catches glimpses of ash-gray smoke curling upwards where other people live. Vehicles scatter the road like afterthoughts, and occasionally Nadia will see the tracks of animals, humans, and otherwise disappearing into the fields as if they would have found some hidden salvation. Fourteen years have given this place too much time to fade into a land inhabited only by specters.

Nada pulls aside on the road when they notice a parked minivan blocking it. Two middle-aged men stand beside it holding shovels and look back at the noise when Nadia gets out. Nadia opens the passenger side door and nudges Gabriel's shoulder so he opens an eye. “There's people out here.” is all Nadia says before they step away from the car. The sound of a door slamming sounds behind Nadia, and Gabriel wraps a scarf around his neck and chin as he walks up to them.

The man wearing orange gloves and an unkempt red striped scarf speaks up. “You two trying to get through here?” There's something distinctly northern about his accent, but Nadia can't place exactly where he's from.

Gabriel nods. “Yeah.” He looks at the feet of snow trapping the tires of the van, then back at his and Nadia's own vehicle. “We can help you unstick your van.” he offers, and Nadia nods in agreement.

“Thank you.” The man exhales in relief, and Nadia goes back to their car to grab a shield and another shovel which they toss to Gabriel.

A they both start shoveling away the snow, the other man who looks a little bit younger than the one with orange mittens speaks up. “What are you two looking for out here?” He voice reminds Nadia of crystalized honey, and they assume he would have been a veterinarian before all this happened.

Gabriel stops. He looks at Nadia who shrugs, so he says, “Just traveling.” he replies with a smile.

The man with orange gloves raises his eyebrows. “Traveling, huh? It's a bit cold out here to just be traveling.”

Nadia looks at Gabriel who shrugs. Nadia ignores him and resumes shoveling snow, but once Gabriel and the man start talking again they find it difficult not to chime in.

“Where are you two from?” he asks.

“San Francisco.” Nadia replies.

“You two scavengers or something then? John and I used to see them when we still lived up in Montana.”

“Something like that.” Gabriel replies. He tosses a shovelful of snow to the side before looking up at the sky and frowning. “It's snowing again.” he says and Nadia looks up to confirm that large white snowflakes are indeed falling from the sky at an alarming rate. And it's only going to get worse. But, looking at the minivan, it's nearly completely free now so they and Gabriel will be able to take shelter in the car soon.

“Montana,” Nadia muses, “no one lives there anymore, so you must have left several years ago right?” They straighten their back and shove some snow to the side of the road before finally declaring themself finished. Gabriel and the other two quickly mirror their action.

The man nods. “About five years now. Been on the road ever since. It just doesn't feel right to stay in one place after I had to leave.” He doesn't elaborate, nor does Nadia expect him to, but he does ask, “What're your names?” he asks as he stops with his hand on the door handle.

Nadia looks at Gabriel. Gabriel shrugs, but he doesn't seem to see the harm it in. “Gabriel Espinoza.” He extends his hand to shake, and the man takes it after some thought. Noticing the man's confused expression, he adds, “I'm trans.” and realization dawns on the man's face; he even looks apologetic. “Don't.” Gabriel says with a slight smile before the man says anything.

The man looks over at Nadia. “Nadia.” they supply eventually, and add “Esfahani. I'm nonbinary.” They hold out their hand after some deliberation, and the man takes it.

“Nice to meet you both.” he says genuinely before getting in. Nadia peers in the backseat where they notice an elderly woman whose skin looks paper white from here and whose skin practically melts off her body.

In the few seconds it takes him to close the door, Gabriel adds, “I hope you find some place to settle down.”

“We'll see.” the man replies. He shuts the door; a few minutes later the engine roars to life and the drives off into the horizon as aimlessly as it likely would have done before.

As Gabriel drives on the road some minutes later, he absently turns the dial on the radio that doesn't pick anything up anymore then the dial which should change the temperature in the car. His hand eventually falls on the stick shift where it stays with his knuckles almost going white.

“You okay?” Nadia asks. He looks at them with wide eyes for a few seconds before remembering to nod.

“I'm fine. Why?”

“You look tense.” They look pointedly at the stick shift, and Gabriel's hand relaxes although his shoulders don't fall back. Finally, he slumps in his seat after stopping the car. He stops the windshield wipers so snowflakes pile on the windshield and create patterns on the glass.

“What are we going to do once we find the Leviathan cult? It's not like we can just waltz in and ask why they're taking more demigods than usual.”

Nadia's mouth quirks in a smile. “Now who's worrying about the mission.” Gabriel looks back at them and rolls his eyes, but he still mirrors Nadia's smile. “Once we're close to them, news is sure to spread from the bandits around them so we'll figure out that way.” Nadia pauses, and their gaze is drawn towards a small bird flying overhead. It looks lost. Or maybe Nadia just assumes it is. “If not we could infiltrate them. It wouldn't be too difficult since we're both mortals.”

The smile drips off Gabriel's lips as he stares at them. “You can't be serious. Nadia, we'll get ourselves killed. Eaten. Whatever. You know how the bandits are and the Leviathan cult is bound to be so much worse.”

Nadia winces at the mention of bandits, and Gabriel frowns. “Sorry, but it's true.”

“How else are we going to get information on them, Gabriel? That plan is at least better than going up to them as an obvious enemy.”

Gabriel doesn't say anything. He crosses his arms over his chest casually as if he's only trying to conserve heat, but his gaze flickers to Nadia and there's an indescribable emotion in his eyes. “Fine.” he relents, and Nadia's eyes widen. “But only if there's no other way. We're still a few days from the east coast, and that's plenty of time to think of a new plan.” But his eyes flicker to his feet, and Nadia has the distinct impression that he knows there isn't one.

Gabriel starts up the engine a few minutes later. Nadia winces at the silence which passes over them like an omen, and they can't help but wonder if Gabriel is right, that the two of them would end up being eaten. It isn't as if the rumor circulating about missing demigods are untrue – and everyone knows to avoid the east coast if they can. It isn't as if members of the cult aren't elsewhere, and bandits will cross the entire continent just to find a demigod and collect a reward, but something particularly unbecoming exists in the east.

Nadia shifts in their seat and although they aren't tired they close their eyes. Their dreams, however little they might remember, would be more enjoyable than the stifling silence.

They find bones on the road occasionally. Bones of monsters, bones of animals, bones of people. The flesh freezes on them in torn chunks where animals and monsters desperate for anything have bitten off the flesh. Nadia's stomach flips at the sight of them and Gabriel deliberately keeps his gaze focused on the horizon line as the sun sinks into the sky. Swallowed by the dark seems more appropriate now, but the stars and moon will always provide some light in its absence.

Where the roads have frozen over with ice, Gabriel's hands clench around the steering wheel to the point where Nadia swears he'll pull it off. The car slows to a snail's pace, and eventually the danger passes and they pull aside at a broken in gas station which Nadia knows without looking is devoid of anything useful. A few popped tires litter the pavement, and the broken sign towers over them.

They both are avoiding the east coast now. It's always been that way ever since they first went on this mission. Gabriel accepted it out of loyalty and general desire to help out, and Nadia couldn't exactly say they would rather pass the mission to someone else, but neither of them wanted to do this. But of all the people in the compound, they're at least thankful they're with Gabriel. Perhaps they know, deep down, something is to be gained from being out here aside from the inevitable trouble they will both discover on the east coast.

Absently, Nadia thinks this could be the plot of some novel that Sam gave them a few months ago, or maybe they just think it fits the bill – save the part where the apocalypse has happened. Two people on a road trip across the continent, looking up at the starry night sky and realizing their objective insignificance. Briefly, Nadia supposes this is the part in the story where the two protagonists reveal their mutual love for each other. Then some conflict arises which only causes them to grow stronger or something.

“Are we okay?” Nadia asks. It comes out like an afterthought, but it's anything but. They take the ring in their hand, their thumb rubbing against the diamond, and for a moment they can feel a lacerating warmth engulfing their body.

Gabriel looks at them with raised eyebrows. “Of course we are.” “Because we have to go into their compound or whatever their base of operations is. I can't see us getting the correct information any other way with all the usual rumors flying around.”

Gabriel smiles, slowly and softly. “I know, Nadia, you don't have to prove your point.” And there's a gentleness to his words, a somber reassurance that only seems to exists in the hours where he's wide awake while everything else sleeps; Nadia has known him for years yet still he surprises them.

“We'll have to be prepared for anything.” they add.

“I know.”

“I know you hate this plan, and I'm sorry.”

Gabriel sighs. “You don't have anything to apologize for.” he reassures them, and Nadia is keenly aware that if this were the same book this is where one protagonist would grasp the other's hand. Let the warmth flow between them. An innocent action such as that becomes so intimate so easily if one embraces a certain mindset. Yet this isn't a novel, and Nadia knows they have plenty to absolve themself of whether Gabriel knows or not.

“I could probably name all the constellations in the sky.” Gabriel muses, but he doesn't make an attempt to get out of the car. The arguable warmth it holds is definitely a factor. Nadia almost comments when they notice something out of the corner of their eye right before something large literally catapults itself through the windshield.

Tiny shards of glass scatter on the floor and over their bodies, and Nadia's face begins to sting in thousands of different places. Their eyes remain remarkably unhurt, but they only relish the fact a few seconds before something sharp digs into the skin of their wrist.

After groping for one, Nadia forces a bolt into the hellhound's right eye so it releases its hold on their wrist, and Gabriel manages to stick a dagger in its neck. Blood splatters both Nadia's clothes as well as Gabriel's, and after freeing his dagger from the hellhound's body Gabriel pushes the monster's limb body off the windshield. Immediately, he drives off without bothering to slow down for ice and snow.

Nadia switches on the interior light to inspect their wounds only to see how hurt Gabriel is; they cannot even fathom how he's driving. Blood drips into his left eye from a cut above his eyebrow and thin cuts dotted with scarlet cover his cheeks and glass embeds itself in his bare fingers. “Gabriel, you need to pull over and take care of those wounds.” Nadia tells him, and he nods absently as if he doesn't quite register what they're staying. Cold wind bites at their face and numbs their wounds which Nadia is at least thankful for.

Nadia almost takes control of the steering wheel themself before something slams into the back of the car with the same ferocity as it had crashed into the windshield. Nadia's head nearly slams into the dashboard before they whip their head around to see the hellish red eye of the hound staring straight at them. Before it can do anything else, it loses its footing and falls back on the street.

Even though they've faced hellhounds before, Nadia feels a shiver run down their spine. They grab for their crossbow and fit it with a bolt as they stare at the back of the car waiting for the hellhound to return. It does with a slam against the right side of the car, and Nadia's eyes widen as the hellhound sticks its face in Nadia's window. They shoot a bolt in its left eye, breaking the glass, and with a loud howl it topples to the road.

“Gabriel,” Nadia begins as they start to skid on the road, “you need to park. Let me drive.” And as soon as he does, he lets out a sigh of relief after looking behind them where Nadia can barely make out the hellhound's weakened form lying on the road.

Nadia doesn't open their door at first. Instead, they pull up a bag from the backseat and start rummaging through it for a hand towel they know they took from one of the houses they found earlier on the road. Finding it, they pour some water on it from their own water bottle and give it to Gabriel. “Here. You look like a mess.” they say dryly with a faint smile.

Gabriel rolls his eyes. “So do you.” He starts mopping up his face with the hand towel and while he tries to hide his winces he can't. Nadia digs in their pockets for their swiss army knife, takes out the tweezers, and starts gently pulling the shards of glass from his face with their right hand while their left steadies his face. As Gabriel pulls the towel away from his face, Nadia's thumb barely brushes his bottom lip and warmth radiates into their fingertips. Their then eyes instead focus on the small shards of glass in Gabriel's skin as they take them out one by one with he tweezers and toss them outside; once they finish, his face looks slightly better.

Even though Gabriel presses the towel to his face, Nadia's left hand doesn't move for a few seconds, and when it does it's only an afterthought. Gabriel takes the swiss army knife from Nadia's hand and begins taking the shards of glass out of their face. In the lighting, the blood already begins to dry on Gabriel's wounds yet he still winces when he moves the muscles in his face. At the very least, Nadia reasons, the cuts aren't deep enough to leave a scar.

Once Gabriel finishes, he hands Nadia their blade which they pocket. “We'll need to find another car.” they state into the dark. “The next one we see in good condition we'll take.”

“It needs a working heater.” Gabriel adds with a smile.

Nadia smiles. “That would be good.” They lean back in their seat, close their eyes so they don't agitate their wounds more than they want, and shiver underneath the blankets. Gabriel rummages through the backseat, presumably to look for his own blankets, and once the noise stops silence wafts between them save for the howling of the bitter cold wind. The hellhound howls occasionally, yet gradually the noise lessens to a pitiful whimper that almost makes Nadia look back at it.

Nadia finds the truck.

They notice it because of its intact windows and upright position which serves to distance it from the vehicles around it on the highway, and upon inspection the only fault is the open door putting the fresh, half-mangled body of a man in his late fifties on view. Gabriel and Nadia pull the body out of the truck together, toss it to the side of the road and cover it with snow, and collectively grimace at the lingering smell of blood. It soaks the leather seat and permeates the air with an unfortunate arrogance; they scrub at the seat with the hand towel which helps slightly.

“Hey, at least we're not far from the coast.” Gabriel comments as he nudges Nadia aside to put a sweatshirt over the seat. It doesn't cover it completely, but it does cover the worst stains. He notices the keys in the ignition and pulls them out for Nadia to see. “It must be our lucky day.” he comments before going back to the car and tossing their stuff in the truck. Nadia looks back at where the man's body is covered by snow, where pink spots discolor the white, and frowns. Some luck.

Nadia starts driving after turning up the heat in the car, at which Gabriel thanks God, yet before long the roads promise to be in much worse condition when they go deeper into the nearest city. The buildings remain relatively intact, but the vehicles resting on the streets are another story. Heaps of snow dent the hoods of the cars, and inches of ice freeze on the windows that aren't smashed in. Fresh human tracks lead away from a car whose hood curls around a streetlight and end at a supermarket. Snow piles up in feet on the sides of the roads where someone has dutifully paved them, for themself or for the people passing through Nadia doesn't know.

Apartment buildings loom on either side of the streets as the truck inches across the pavement, and while Nadia wants nothing more than to warm their shivering body inside of one of them they know they've delayed this mission too much. Off in one of the alleyways, a stray dog watches them as it tears meat off a carcass. A single, thin track of tires permeates the snow on the sidewalks; Nadia raises their eyebrows at the thought of someone biking in this weather.

“You know,” Gabriel begins, “this place should be a ghost town. But I keep seeing silhouettes in the windows.” And sure enough when Nadia looks at the windows they see the brief outlines of people before they disappear, terrified, out of the frame. “I wonder what they're waiting for.” Nadia asks because surely no one would live here unless they were waiting for some divine retribution to fall upon the monsters in this world.

Someone darts in front of the truck shouting, Nadia slams their foot on the brake, and they notice the young woman's tracks lead away from the supermarket. Nadia looks at Gabriel before stepping out of the car.

The woman rushes towards Nadia, grabbing their arms and squeezing with the force of someone who doesn't match her petite frame. Her pale skin barely stands out against the backdrop of snow, and her blue eyes water. “Please, please help me.” she begs as Nadia tries to pry the woman's hands from their arms. “My friend and I, we were separated and I don't know where he is. I think a monster got him because I should have found him by now. I checked the entire city. The whole damn city. But I can't find him. Please, you don't have to do anything else for me I just need to find him.” She finally stops to breathe when she notices Nadia's perplexed expression. “I'm sorry, but I really need help.”

Gabriel steps up beside Nadia. “What's your name?” he asks her, and the woman turns her attention towards him.

“I'm Danielle. But everyone calls me Dani.” Danielle finally drops her hands from Nadia's arms with a sheepish expression. “I'm sorry.” she says for the second time. “I'm sorry,” she repeats as an afterthought. Nadia has the distinct impression that Danielle rarely stops talking.

“We already have somewhere we need to be.” Nadia informs her. Danielle's shoulders slump, and she pulls her hood tighter around her face when a snowflakes hits her cheek. “I don't think we can help you find your friend.”

“Sorry.” Gabriel adds.

Danielle shifts her weight onto her right foot as she looks at the surrounding buildings. “Please, I won't be any trouble I promise. You can take care of whatever you have to do first but I need to find my friend.” Her lip trembles, and Nadia thinks she can't be over nineteen, maybe twenty. The top of her cheek smudges with dirt, and her lips crack.

Nadia sighs. “Fine.”

Danielle does cry then, and she practically wraps her entire body around Nadia and presses her face into their chest when she hugs them. Nadia's eyes widen at Gabriel who shrugs and looks as if he's trying not to laugh.

As soon as Nadia and Gabriel clear out a space for Danielle in the backseat, she passes out curled in the fetal position. With flyaway blonde strains of hair covering her face, she looks like a cat complete with snores that sound vaguely like content purrs.

Gabriel gently covers her body with a wool blanket, and when his eyes meet Nadia's in the rearview mirror he puts a finger too his lips before climbing to the passenger seat. Nadia rolls their eyes, but they still wince when the truck rolls over something and jostles her body around. Danielle's a sweet kid they suppose.

“We shouldn't bring her into the Leviathan cult's domain with us.” Gabriel says some streets later. The truck exits the city with an arduous push against the snow, and Nadia catches Danielle's shifting form in the back. A backpack barely smaller than her threatens to squish her.

“I know, but we don't know how long it will take to find her friend.” Nadia sighs. Wishes they didn't have a heart. “We don't have to bring her in,” they muse, “we could leave her in some building nearby to wait for us.”

“She'll get killed.”

“Not if she's careful.” Nadia regrets the words once they leave their mouth. Even Gabriel stares at them with a frown. “Ultimately, it's her decision whether or not she wants to go with us.” Nadia says, and neither of them say anything else on the matter.

Danielle finally wakes up when the Manhattan buildings tower over them like fossils telling a story that no longer exists in the world as they know it. She blinks up at the buildings and opens her mouth with a question before she closes it again. She shrinks in her seat as if she knows where the two of them are going; when Nadia meets her gaze in the rearview mirror, she averts her eyes.

“Morning, Dani.” Gabriel greets despite the obvious darkening of the sky. “How was your sleep?”

“It was good.” Danielle admits. “I, um, are we stopping anywhere?”

Gabriel looks at Nadia. “Yeah.” He gazes out at the buildings, and noticing a Holiday Inn across the street he drives towards it and parks beside a mound of snow. Nadia grabs what they can, as does Gabriel, and they start walking into the hotel while Danielle follows them.

The lobby looks as if a storm has passed through it. Some couches have been tossed on their side while others have been completely removed; the glass chandelier lies shattered in the middle of the floor and tables and chairs have been upended while trash and bits of scrap metal are the only sign that someone has lived here once. Long dried blood stains the white carpet leaving a trail to an elevator that no longer works. The scent of decay hangs heavy in the air; mixed with the feeling of dread in Nadia's stomach they dare to wonder exactly what has gone on here before.

Gabriel is the first to start moving towards the stairs. Nadia follows him carrying their bags while trying to cover their nose at the same time, and Danielle stays close to their heels. As they ascend, Nadia notices the smell of decay grow stronger and stronger until Gabriel stumbles on a partially decayed body in the third floor with a spear through their chest. Rats scurry away from it once they sense people.

“Disgusting.” he mutters but doesn't stop walking up the stairs until finally they reach the fourth floor where the hallway looks as good as they can look. Nadia looks in the first open room they see and sighs in relief at the lack of dead bodies and overall mold. Gabriel sets his stuff beside one of the two beds and Nadia tosses their stuff next to his. Danielle sits on the second bed and starts pulling off the sheets and pillowcases that now resemble rags. She tosses them in a pile by the TV before stretching against the wall; she stares at the two of them expectantly.

Nadia pulls up the chair in the corner and collapses it in, stretching out their legs so they touch the frame of Danielle's bed. “How did you end up on your own?” they ask Danielle as Gabriel unlaces his shoes and sits cross-legged on the bed.

Danielle sighs. “Well you know I got separated with my friend. But before that I was with my moms. Neither were my birth mom though, and I still don't know who that is, but then my mom, not to be confused with my momma, got sick with something. I think it was tuberculosis or something because she would always cough up blood and everything. That was four years, six months, and seven days ago. She died within six months afterwards, and my momma took care of me until a bunch of people attacked us for food and water. They weren't bandits. They were just struggling to survive like we were and desperate. We barely escaped, and then we ran into a group of people who included my friend. We'd be traveling with them ever since until a group of centaurs ambushed us ten weeks ago. My friend and I escaped, and until two days ago we'd been looking for the rest of our group.” Danielle finally takes a breath as her shoulder slump.

“I'm sorry.” Nadia murmurs. They almost stand up to give Danielle a hug but decide against it. They catch Gabriel's gaze before looking back at her. “You mentioned not knowing your biological mother, are you a demigod?”

Danielle looks up and shrugs. “I don't know.” she admits with a sheepish expression, as if not knowing anything about her heritage in this broken world is something to be embarrassed about. “But I know that I've always been able to remember everything I interact with, and my moms were always terrified of the Leviathan cult for reasons I'd assumed were their own.” She pauses. “But I guess their reasons could have been for my sake instead.”

She grabs one of the blankets from a bag and wraps it around herself before she asks, “What are your names? I can't believe I didn't ask you before. Sometimes I'm so scatterbrained.” Nadia has the distinct impression that if she wasn't covering most of her face they'd be able to see her blushing from head to toe.

“I'm Nadia Esfahani.” Nadia replies.

“Gabriel Espinoza.” Gabriel passes her the rest of the bag so she digs inside for the box of crackers, and once she finds it she looks at him then at Nadia.

“What are you two doing here?” She stuff three crackers in her mouth so as to shut herself up, but she still ends up mumbling as she chews.

“Stuff.” Nadia says slowly. Gabriel winks at Nadia who kicks his bed. He laughs and they can't help but smile even as they roll their eyes. Danielle looks between the two of them rapidly as if it might give her an answer she wants, but instead of asking them a direct questions she swallows her curiosity along with her food. “We're from San Francisco,” Nadia corrects with an apologetic look. “and we were sent here to do reconnaissance.”

“On what?”

“The Leviathan cult.”

The temperature seems to drop ten degrees with how Danielle stares at them. Her knuckles turn white at the edges of the blanket when she tries to shrink deeper into it. “Oh my God. You can't be serious about going in there you'll get yourself killed. You'd have to find it first anyway and you'd get yourself killed doing that, too.” She clamps a hand over her mouth to stop herself.

Nadia sighs. “It's our mission and we can't ignore it like that. Besides,” they add, “more people's lives are at stake than just our own.” Gabriel nods, and for all their disagreement about how to get information at least they agree on this.

“And you'll,” Danielle begins then pauses. Her eyes flicker towards Nadia, then Gabriel, as if testing the waters. “So you'll help me find my friend after this, right? Because I know he can survive without me and I don't need him to breathe but I need to know if he's okay. I need to find him. I don't know what I'd do without him.”

“We'll find him, Dani.” Nadia promises. “We won't go back until we do.” They give what they hope is a reassuring smile although Danielle doesn't return it with as much gusto. Still, the room seems to warm, albeit slightly, and Gabriel takes advantage of the lull in conversation to strip his bed of sheets and pillowcases and replace them with blankets. He leans back on the bed, stretching his legs out and wriggling his toes, and without a lantern lit the shadows cast by the setting sun cause a shiver to run down Nadia's spine. They curl themself in their chair with their own blanket although it doesn't do much against the cold.

“You know,” Danielle begins, “I'm glad I meet you two.”

Nadia shifts their head so they're looking at her. “Why?” they ask because they doubt it's just for the obvious reasons.

“It gets lonely when you're on your own out there for too long. Especially in the winter. Especially when it's snowing like this. Have you noticed how everything feels so much more desolate in the snow?”

“Everything looks empty here, with the snow or without it.” Gabriel replies. “But I guess the snow does make everything look more dreadful. But I wouldn't know your position.” He pauses, then, “We should sleep, and when we wake up we can start looking for the Leviathan cult.”

“With our luck it'll find us first.” Nadia mutters, but they shift in their chair all the same. Gabriel notices this, but he doesn't say anything until Danielle's snores chase away the silence.

“You don't have to sleep there.” he comments, but quietly. Nadia looks at him, and although something unspoken passes between the two of them they still shake their head. “We can take shifts sleeping here.”

“That'd be pointless.” Nadia replies. “We'd both end up aching in the morning.” He looks as if he wants to retort, but instead of saying anything in response he looks at them a few moments longer before falling asleep. Nadia's gaze lingers on the rising and falling of his chest which marks his existence before falling asleep themself.

When Nadia wakes up, both Danielle and Gabriel are laughing quietly about something as they share the box of crackers Danielle seems to have claimed as her own. She still has the blanket wrapped around her body while Gabriel looks as if he's ready to jump into the truck and leave.

Gabriel is the first to notice Nadia. He gives them a smile which they return, and Danielle gives them a wave which Nadia finds confusing until they notice her mouth is full. “Morning, Nadia.” Gabriel greets as he stands up from the bed. “Now that you're awake we can head out. Danielle is coming with us by the way.”

Nadia looks at Danielle with raised eyebrows. “Even knowing you might be a demigod?”

Danielle nods. “I didn't want to at first,” she admits, “But I can help you. Besides,” she smiles hesitantly, and something glints in her eyes, “I can remember everything. It's the least I can do.”

“Okay.” Nadia nods. “Okay,” they repeat, and although they feel as though they should say something else on the matter they don't. “What's our plan? We find the Leviathan cult then what?”

“We find the higher ups and get information out of them, and once we have what we need we race out of there, find Danielle's friend, come back to San Francisco, and sleep for days on end.” Gabriel deadpans. He sighs at Nadia's expression. “I don't know, Nadia. I assumed you would come up with a plan of action.”

Danielle purses her lips. “You know.” she stops as her gaze flits back and forth between Nadia and Gabriel. “You two could pretend to be bandits and I could be a captured demigod.”

“No.” Nadia says immediately. Danielle's eyes widen while Gabriel looks at them. “That's way too risky.”

“Nadia, it's the only actual plan we've come up so far.” Gabriel reasons. “And it might work out. We're just getting information anyway, so it's not as if we need to be in there a long time. We'll be fine.”

“How are we even supposed to find their place?” Nadia asks.

Gabriel tilts his head. “I think I have an idea.”

Gabriel's idea brings the three of them outside the hotel next to the truck as the snowflakes fall like feathers from the sky. Gabriel constantly apologizes to Danielle as he ties her wrists behind her back with a rope he found in one of the hotel rooms, and once he finishes he ties her ankles together. “Sorry.” he says for the umpteenth time as he sets her down in the back of the truck amidst boxes and crates Nadia found in the hotel's storage room.

“It's okay.” Danielle assures him. “It was my idea.” Nadia fits a bolt in their crossbow after patting their jacket pocket to make sure their swiss army knife is still there, then they climb into the driver's seat.

Before closing the door, they say, “I'm not sure I completely trust your hunch, Gabriel.” they admit as he finishes with Danielle.

“It's the only lead we have.” he tells them. “And if you were a cannibalistic cult with a devotion to a gigantic serpent where else would you go?”

“Not a place as ironic as that.” Nadia replies once he gets in. They start the ignition, ignoring the pit of dread in their stomach, and tighten their hands around the steering wheel. “You know what this building looks like, right?”

“I've been on reconnaissance missions without you before.” he reminds them. Nadia looks at him, and when he smiles they steel themself for whatever they're about to encounter. “I'll direct you.” he assures them, and a few moments later adds “We'll be fine.”

St. Patrick's Cathedral exists somewhere between the time before the apocalypse and the time after. Its steeples stretch towards the never ending sky and give rise to spires that yearn to touch God's fingertips, if only for the briefest of moments. Red stains decorate the base of the cathedral that not even the relentless snow or rain could hope to wash out, and leading down the steps are strange, patterned dark red marks that Nadia only recognizes as handprints when they approach it. Gabriel guides Danielle towards the gigantic bronze doors as if they were the opening to hell. And Nadia supposes they are despite the heaven they used to promise once upon a time.

The Atlas statue by the cathedral looks the same as it had in the photographs Nadia saw of it when they were younger, but upon closer inspection they notice someone's spray painted the word LEVIATHAN on Atlas's body lest humanity forgets who their real god is. Nadia wrinkles their nose at the display before slowly approaching the bronze doors of the cathedral. Blood splatters the saints carved into it; Nadia has the distinct impulse to wash it away.

They push open the doors slowly in a show of reverence that fails when their steps echo on the tiled marble floor. Gabriel's elbow brushes theirs as he steps beside them, and Danielle spends so much time looking up at the ceiling that she nearly trips over her own feet when she steps forward. Nadia catches her with ease, and they raise their eyebrows in a bemused expression when she rights herself.

“Are you okay?” they murmur and she nods before Gabriel leads her deeper into the cathedral. The inside of the cathedral looks completely untouched which causes Nadia to frown since the Atlas statue and the exterior of the cathedral have both been soiled. They then wonder if Gabriel was wrong after all, and perhaps they ought to be glad that the cult wouldn't desecrate a site sacred to another religion.

Their footsteps echo throughout the structure as they walk briskly towards the sanctuary, and despite the gorgeous columns supporting the ceiling they have the distinct feeling that they're being watched. They reach out and brush their fingertips against Gabriel's elbow to get his attention when they hear the sound of heavy footfalls behind them.

“You three – what are you doing in here?”

Nadia freezes. The voice is low yet not angry like they expect, so they turn their head slowly. The woman standing in front of them has her hair tied back in a severe bun and wears what looks like snow pants and a luxurious fur coat. Gabriel makes it obvious that Danielle's hands are bound behind her back, and he gives Nadia a brief nod. “We're here to deliver a demigod.” Nadia replies loudly. They step towards the woman, keeping their back straight and their shoulders back, and purposely take a bolt from their oversized quiver.

“Really?” The woman approaches close enough that Nadia can see her narrowed eyes and pursed lips clearly. “What kind of demigod is she?”

“Apollo.” Gabriel replies without hesitation. “See, we found her stealing our stuff and figured we both could get something out of this. You, the satisfaction of having another demigod, us, compensation for what she stole.” He smiles smugly, and his grip on Danielle's arm seems to tighten when he mentions her fabricated stealing.

The woman looks from Danielle, to Gabriel, to Nadia, then back to Danielle before nodding. “Can you prove she's a demigod of Apollo?”

Nadia's face must fall because the woman sneers. She takes out a knife and begins cleaning her nails with it as she talks. “Come back when you find a real demigod next time.” She begins walking away, the clattering of her feet echoing throughout the cathedral, before Nadia stops her.

“Wait.” The woman stops, but before she turns around Nadia smiles at Danielle reassuringly. “Trust me.” they whisper. “My partner here's an idiot.” they say aloud to the woman. “He thinks every demigod is a child of Apollo. This one,” they jab a finger at Danielle, “we don't know the parentage, but we know she's a demigod.”

The woman frowns. “How?”

“She can remember everything she experiences, no matter how brief she looks at something. That's how she stole from us, you see.”

“Prove it.”

Nadia looks at Danielle and scowls at her for show. They shake her arm with their hand. “Well?” they demand and Danielle shrinks back against Gabriel who pushes her forward. Then slowly, she begins to speak.

“On the morning of August 14th in the year 1999, the Leviathan rose up from the sea. Various news crews captured the footage, but they were taken down from the air within hours of the Leviathan swatting the helicopters from the sky. Approximately seven days and four hours later, the first of the plagues hit. They began with boils, high fever, and lacerations that looked like burns followed internal bleeding. It spread throughout the continent and five hundred thousand seventy-two people were killed. Then, twenty four hours later, the Mist which kept mortals from witnessing the godly world disappeared.

People began flooding the streets as monsters attacked them and massacred families and groups. Thousands of mortals were killed as well as countless more demigods when they tried to protect them. Wide spread panic took the nation because so many people were dying and no one had any idea what was going on, and with the first death among the gods the chaos worsened. With the death of each god, the monsters grew more powerful until, finally, with Hades's and Thanatos's demise, they stopped dying all together. That was three years, two months, sixteen days, and twenty-eight hours after the initial arrival of the Leviathan.”

Danielle suddenly cries out and nearly topples to the floor, but Nadia catches her. “And how old were you when the apocalypse began?” they ask.

Danielle's voice shakes when she answers. “I was four and a half when the Leviathan first appeared and seven when Hades and Thanatos died.”

Nadia turns their attention to the woman across from them. She stares at Danielle with interest now, and her expression makes Nadia's blood turn to ice. “See? She shouldn't have been able to recall that precisely for someone so young.”

“Someone could have told her all of that. Make her recite something else.”

“Isn't that enough for you?”

“No, so get her to do something else.” The woman stands nearly toe to toe with Danielle now, and she grabs Danielle's chin and forces her to look at her. The woman's pale blue eyes reflect something monsteresque, and when Danielle tries to shrink back the woman tightens her grip on Danielle's chin. Reluctantly, Danielle takes a shaky breath and begins reciting something in a language Nadia doesn't understand. They look at Gabriel who just barely shakes his head before directing his attention back to Danielle and the woman. The woman's lips split into a cat-like smile when Danielle finishes, looking much more paler than usual. Blood begins dripping from her nose.

“And where did you learn that?” the woman asks sweetly. Her grip tightens even more around Danielle's jaw.

“When I was a little kid, my mom took online German classes.” Danielle mumbles. “I guess I picked up some of the words.”

The woman looks at Nadia then Gabriel. “Well, looks like you've found yourself an actual demigod.” She frowns, but she doesn't look at all displeased when she says, “But unfortunately, at this time we can't spare any of our supplies. Thank you for the offering, and if you find anymore demigods crawling around out there you know where to bring them.” The woman walks out with Danielle in tow without another word even as Danielle kicks at her and screams; when the bronze doors close, Nadia figures out why the saints are covered in blood.

They look at Gabriel with wide eyes. “No,” they breathe and run a hand through their hair to unravel their braid. “No no no no.” Before waiting on Gabriel to say anything, they run out the cathedral and stop the woman in her tracks. The truck is still by the Atlas statue where they parked it, but Nadia hardly cares now. “The Leviathan cult always pays their debts, or was what I heard wrong?” they shout.

The woman turns around. “You heard correct, but we can't give you anything right now so I suggest you leave immediately.”

Gabriel runs up beside Nadia. “Or what?” he demands. “You're the only one here.”

The woman raises her eyebrows. “No, I'm not.” And Nadia finally notices the people going to and from the Rockefeller Center at a snail's pace. They wear every day clothes, clothes that you would see on someone before the apocalypse, and they don't even acknowledge the woman holding Danielle or Gabriel or Nadia. All which they acknowledge is whatever is happening in the building.

Nadia wonders, briefly, if they're going to get Danielle killed. If this was a mistake. And Nadia only went with it because they couldn't think of anything else. Neither of them could, and not Danielle could get killed and they aren't any closer to figuring out why the Leviathan cult is acting so strangely. None of them will care what happens out here it seems, so perhaps they could just –

A knife sprouts between the woman's eyes, and she crumples to the ground. Nadia jumps and looks at Gabriel who immediately runs towards Danielle. Nadia watches the cult members coming and going from the center and is unnerved at how there isn't a lull in movement. They wonder, briefly, that they must have that kind of attitude if they slaughter demigods like animals.

“Dani, are you okay?” Gabriel asks as he unties her hands from her back. His hands check her face, her neck, her shoulders, her arms for any wounds but they come back clean. “Shit, we shouldn't have done that to you I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking sorry.”

“It's okay, Gabriel, I'm okay. I'm fine.” But Danielle's chest keeps heaving and her body keeps swaying so Nadia steadies her. Her eyes begin to water and she rubs at her eyes furiously while her lip trembles. Nadia notices her nose still hasn't stopped bleeding.

“We should leave.” Gabriel says abruptly. Nadia looks at him incredulously. “We didn't think this through, Nadia, we need to leave.”

“We can't, Gabriel.” Nadia looks over at the Rockefeller Center and frowns. “That's where they are, right? Then we need to get in there and get the information we came for.” “Nadia, what about Danielle? What about us?”

“We have to figure out what they're planning, Gabriel, because it might be something huge.” Nadia looks over at the Atlas statue with its spray painted blue lettering, and then at the sky that has ceased to bring over a storm cloud since the three of them have been here. “We came here with a mission, so we have to complete it.”

“Nadia –“

“They're right.” Danielle interjects. She wipes the blood from her upper lip before continuing. “You came here for a reason, and you should follow through with that.” She says her words with much more vigor than she should have, but Nadia still notices how her eyes don't quite meet theirs or Gabriel's. But before anything can be decided Nadia finally notices a group of four people approaching them with weapons. One of the shorter members is dragging something with him, but Nadia doesn't care to find out what.

“Nadia, what?” Gabriel asks before his follows their gaze to the group of people. He pulls the knife from the woman's head and slowly starts cleaning it when a shot fires. Gabriel hisses in pain and grabs his arm when another shot rings out. Nadia pushes Danielle behind them before firing their crossbow at the closest member. They crumple in a heap, and Nadia starts running towards the truck when two gunshots ring out and both back tires pop. They load another bolt in their crossbow and fire it at another member of the group then take cover behind the truck. Gabriel throws his knife for a second time and something thuds to the concrete after Gabriel takes cover next to Nadia.

“They look like bandits.” he murmurs as another gunshot fires. He grabs another knife from his belt and takes a breath. “Guess they really want a reward.” He steps out, and when he throws his knife at the last member Nadia steps out and motions Danielle to follow them. The bandit's bodies crumple in awkward positions which stain the concrete with blood, and when Nadia averts their gaze they notice what the last member had been dragging behind him was a person.

The three of them run up to the young man, but it's Danielle who frees them when his eyes widen with recognition. “Dani!” Once she cuts the ropes binding his wrists and ankles, he tackles her in a hug. The two sway on the concrete as they embrace, and one or both of them starts sniffling.

“Adam,” Danielle breathes when she pulls away. Nadia notices the members of the Leviathan cult are finally starting to move now, so clears their throat so the two break apart. The shift in the crowd is subtle enough they wouldn't have noticed it had they not been paying attention.

“We need to leave.” they say despite knowing they won't be able to come back. They debate whether losing the chance to get information on the cult is worth it, but looking at Danielle and Adam they couldn't try to get information even if they wanted to at this point. “Gabriel, let's get the rest of the stuff.” they say and run back to the truck before waiting on his response. They grab what they can, spare one last look at the popped tires, and start running in the direction they came in right before the gunshots ring out. An arrow soars over their head as Adam throws open a bright yellow taxi cab which happens to be closest. Nadia pulls Gabriel into the backseat with them when he catches up as Danielle buckles into the passenger side, and immediately Adam speeds off. He drives a few minutes before speaking up. “Who are you two?”

“Not part of the Leviathan cult. Or bandits.” Gabriel assures him. “I'm Gabriel, and they're Nadia. We're from San Francisco.”

“You came all the way from San Francisco to mess with the Leviathan cult?” Nadia catches Adam's incredulous expression in the rearview mirror, and they can't help but smile at the absurdity of it. Despite the fact that they didn't achieve anything there, with the adrenaline rush has faded Nadia can't believe they went in there in the first place. “We were going to,” Gabriel corrects, “but we weren't able to. They're taking more demigods than usual, so we were sent to find out why.”

Adam raises his eyebrows. “With just two people?”

“Two people aren't as conspicuous.” Nadia replies. They begin pulling the bags from their shoulders and putting them on the floor like Gabriel had already done. “And we were the only two who wanted to go.”

“The only two dumb enough you mean.” Adam corrects. Nadia looks at Gabriel and raises their eyebrows, but they don't say anything in response. Danielle slumps in her seat, and soon after that her soft snores fill the taxi. “How'd you meet Dani?”

“She ran in front of our truck looking for help.” Nadia replies. They look out their window and watch as the buildings pass by in a blur and the sky settles into an ash-gray. “If you were captured by bandits, that means you're a demigod, so how'd two demigods stay unharmed for so long?”

“Dani's clever.” Adam admits, and there's a hint of fondness to his voice that Nadia doesn't miss. “And it helps that she literally knows everywhere she's been like the back of her hand.” He looks over at Danielle as she sleeps in her seat. “So, San Francisco, huh?”

Nadia narrows their eyes. “You're going with us? But Dani told us you were looking for your group.”

“We were. We still would, but..” he trails off as he swerves to avoid a cat on the road. The orange tabby looks like autumn against the winter snow as it darts off underneath a parked car. “We won't find them here, and I think Dani knows that. She's just hopeful.”

“There's nothing wrong with hope.” Gabriel says. He tells Adam to pull over at the same Holiday Inn, and he parks with raised eyebrows but compliance nonetheless. “We all need a rest.” Gabriel replies even though it's barely afternoon, and together he and Nadia gather up their belongings and enter the hotel. Once Adam steps inside, he wrinkles his nose at the smell but still dutifully carries Danielle to the same room the three had used yesterday. Once again, Nadia and Gabriel set their things down on the floor while Adam gently lays Danielle across the bed closest to the door. When he brushes her hair behind her ear, the corners of Danielle's lips lift upwards. Nadia notices his right index finger is missing when he takes his hand away.

“Do you think the sink works?”

Gabriel shakes his head. “I tried, it doesn't. But here.” He takes out a water bottle and a bar of soap. “You can use these. And there might be towels in the other rooms.” Adam just barely catches the items when Gabriel throws them, then Adam disappears out the door.

The world seems to exhale, then. Nadia sits on the second bed across Gabriel in the chair, and they look at the carpeting then outside the window. Once upon of time they would have been able to see people milling about, both tourists and not, and the snow wouldn't fall like a death sentence but a promise of rebirth. “God, we fucked up.” they say aloud.

“Yeah, we did.” Gabriel agrees. “We can't go back now. We'll have to wait to deliver the news before we live out the rest of our days in shame.”

Nadia tosses a pillow at his head. He catches it with ease. “Don't be dramatic.”

“How can I not be?” Gabriel frowns. “We aren't any closer to figuring out why the Leviathan cult even takes demigods, let alone why they're taking more than usual! For all we know this means something big, something huge, and more people than just demigods could suffer for this!”

Nadia narrows their eyes. “Then let's do something about it. We have to.”

“We can't, Nadia.” Gabriel's eyes fall to Danielle's sleeping body. “We'll get killed if we go back there. All of us, and that won't help anyone.”

The door opens and Adam slips inside the room carrying a fluffy white towel, and his eyes flit between the two of them before he slips into the bathroom.

“I wish we could do something.” Nadia admits. They look back out the window, out where the cars sit permanently still, and sigh. It should be hailing, they think, or perhaps just snowing. But regardless of what, something should be falling from the sky.

“I know.”

“Do you think Dani will be okay? I saw how recalling those memories hurt her.” Nadia looks at Danielle's body, how she curls up with her arms around her legs tucked against her stomach, and mixed with shame awe passes over Nadia, for they wonder what else Danielle can remember in that head of hers. Among all the demigods still left in the world, she might be the most powerful.

Gabriel shrugs. “I honestly don't know, but Adam will take care of her. God knows we'd do a shit job of that.”

Nadia rolls their eyes. “You mean you would. I've seen how you reacted to Julia's three year old daughter.”

“She was hugging my leg, Nadia! What else was I supposed to do?”

“Not try to shake her off, Christ. Who taught you infant care?”

“No one decent, apparently.” He cracks a smile, and Nadia starts laughing both at the absurdity of Gabriel's actions and because of the stress they've been under. The cuts around his face are beginning to heal, they now notice, and the wound on his arm has stopped bleeding although he hasn't paid it any mind since the four of the escaped the Leviathan cult.

Gabriel leans forward on his elbows, and his hazel eyes don't move away from Nadia's green ones. As green as emeralds, Julia had said the first time the two met, and Gabriel's eyes she declared held the expanses of the stars. Somehow, Nadia prefers their ridiculous metaphor, but Gabriel's rings so much more true in this moment. Or perhaps Nadia never noticed before. “When we get back to San Francisco, I'm taking a break from recon for a while. I could help Sarah scavenge instead, or I could work in one of the libraries. You know, one of the scavenging parties found a shit ton of books about a month back.”

“I heard. I think Sarah and Sam have both read them all already. But Sarah probably put more of an effort in.”

The bathroom door opens and Adam steps out looking cleaner than any of them. With his face devoid of dirt and blood, Nadia notices that his skin has a hesitant tan that would be much darker during the summer months. His eyes are a dark shade of brown and flicker between Nadia and Gabriel. “Are you two sharing secrets?” He sounds almost like a petulant child.

Nadia frowns. “No, why?”

“You're speaking another language. Spanish, I think.”

“Oh. I didn't realize.” Nadia says when they look at Gabriel who shrugs. “We were just talking about the Leviathan cult, and what we would do once we got back to San Francisco.”

“Is it nice there?” Adam asks when he gives Gabriel back his water bottle. The soap seems to have disappeared entirely, but Gabriel decides not to comment on it. Adam sits next to Danielle on the bed, leans back against the headboard, and pulls his arms to his chest.

“It's secure.” Nadia replies. “It's spacious. Not that many people live there compared to how many people lived in the city before.”

“So, Dani and I have a place there? They won't reject us?” And, suddenly, Adam looks very much his age in that moment; he is only a scared nineteen year old boy who wants very much to belong in the comfort of a group.

Gabriel is the one who responds. “Of course.” Adam smiles, and his gaze falls to Danielle but he doesn't say anything else. He seems to fall speechless whenever Danielle is involved, as if her existence literally takes the words away from him.Nadia supposes that might be nice, to have someone so enamored by their existence like that.

The group leaves once Danielle wakes up, and Nadia gets in the driver's seat before anyone else can, which leaves Gabriel to the passenger side and Danielle and Adam in the back of the taxi. The two press against each other as if they're afraid of being apart again, and Nadia can't help but notice how Adam wraps his arm around Danielle's shoulders. They whisper quietly enough that Nadia can't hear them, so they leave the two alone. They deserve the limited privacy.

“I'm going to switch to another car once we find one.” Nadia tells Gabriel as the snow begins to fall. It comes gradually this time, slowly as if it wants the world to watch it. Gabriel nods. As Nadia drives out of Manhattan, they count the minutes which pass inside their head. They aren't sure what they're counting down for, something that causes their eyes to wander across the horizon, until they see a group of eight or so people walking across the road and brake so hard they would've flown out the windshield if they weren't wearing their seatbelt.

The people wear dirty clothes in layers, and they stare at the taxi as if they've never seen one before. A few of the older ones carry an assortment of weapons while the youngest, around sixteen, holds what looks like a cat carrier.

None of them move. Nadia eventually gets out of the taxi along with Gabriel after waiting, determined to shout at them to move, but one of the people points a gun to their chest instead. Nadia raises their hands up immediately. “I'm not going to do anything.” they promise. “But can you move from the road?”

“We need the supplies, Gregory.” one of the men says to a man beside him. He ignores Nadia's words as if they hadn't even spoken. “We should do it.”

“Do what?” Gabriel demands. He steps back when one of the men, Gregory Nadia presumes, points a gun at him. “Fuck, you're bandits. Of course.”

“Bandits?” one of the women asks. She tilts her head and strands of matted red hair fall into her eyes. “We're not bandits, not really.”

“Then what are you?” Nadia demands. Someone in the back moves to the front of the group, and Nadia notices the young woman has a rather large birthmark on the bridge of her nose. One that looks vaguely familiar, but Nadia can't remember why.

The redhaired woman speaks up again. “We're scavengers, same as you. 'Cept sometimes we can't get by on just scavenging, and sometimes we come across demigods –“

“Then you're bandits.” Nadia finishes. They reach for their crossbow before remembering it's in the taxi, and they debate the merits of tackling the woman's right there when the woman with the birthmark speaks up.

“Nadia?”

Her voice causes Nadia's eyes to widen, and suddenly they truly take in the woman's appearance: hazel eyes and a scar on her left cheek from where her pet cat scratched her, brown skin slightly lighter than Nadia's, dark curly hair that falls into her face.

“Zareen?” =Part Two= Nadia is at the tender age of seven when they enter a hospital for the first time. Their life prior to that moment revolved around the notion that people close to them did not get hurt, that certain pain existed in Saturday morning cartoons for a comedic effect. They knew people got hurt of course, but never people they knew in person, and never as drastic as to need a visit to the hospital. Their most dangerous experience up to that point was getting the flu for two weeks.

Their life changes when their parents decide to get a cat.

It's Zareen's present for their seventh birthday. Generally, the two split the gifts, but this time their parents relented and decided to get a cat – a Russian Blue Zareen prompted named Leyla – for Zareen (but really, it was the family pet). The presents Nadia received they cannot particularly remember anymore.

The cat was slightly older than eight months, and she had a particular fondness for biting the soles of Nadia's feet as well as their ankles. Occasionally, Leyla bit their father's hands when she was hungry, but she never went after Zareen's limbs. Not even their mother was spared from Leyla's need for playtime in the form of mauling everything she can.

So five weeks after Zareen and Nadia's seventh birthday, Nadia can't help but go into shock when they see Leyla's claws rake across Zareen's cheek. Her sister had been laying on their bedroom floor playing with Leyla when the cat was spooked or something equivalent happened. All Nadia knew, and cared to know, was that one minute Zareen was fine and the next she was crying and holding a hand to the bleeding wound. Leyla looked up at her with wide blue eyes when Zareen ran out of the room, and Nadia didn't hesitate to follow her.

Their mom was the only one home at the time, so she rushed them both to the hospital. While she drove, Nadia tried to console their weeping twin by hugging her. It went over poorly, and Nadia was in a constant state of panic and convinced themselves that something terrible would happen to Zareen if they didn't get to the hospital on time. The most Zareen got were stitches and three thin scars across her left cheek. Two of them healed with time while the deepest remained a constant reminder of what happened to her.

Once Zareen came home with stitches and a bandage covering her cheek, she acted as if nothing major had happened and spent her time with Leyla as usual. Nadia on the other hand refused to look at the cat until a good month later. Occasionally, now, they still think of Leyla. Of what might have happened to the cat once the apocalypse began. Zareen's scar still looks the same from when Nadia last saw it eight years ago. Her sister looks the same yet older, with short choppy hair that looks different without the braid she wore when she was younger. The two wore braids constantly when Nadia confided to Zareen about their gender, although at the time they didn't know the word, and once when they were thirteen Zareen had found makeup in their mother's purse and put in on each other for fun. Zareen declared that Nadia looked better with it, but before Nadia could get a word in their mother found them in front of the vanity. It was the first time she truly smiled after the apocalypse.

Nadia drops their hands as Zareen runs towards them. “Oh my God. I thought you were dead!” they breathe as they cup Zareen's face with their hands. Her fingers brush over the scar, the contrast of the rough skin versus the smooth. She has a few freckles on her face, now, around scattered around her forehead. They're faint. They map the times Nadia and Zareen have been a part, one for every year they thought she was dead. Zareen's hands are so warm, so alive, against Nadia's cheeks, and her eyes fill with tears. “How did you – Why didn't you try to find us?”

“I tried! God, I tried, but you left me and I didn't know what to do! But you're here now.” Her thumb caresses Nadia's cheek, and finally she pulls Nadia into a hug. “You're here.” she repeats as if Nadia will disappear as soon as she stops talking to them. Perhaps they would. Perhaps they both would.

Adam and Danielle move to stand beside Gabriel, and the both look at him in confusion while Gabriel stares at the scene with recognition dawning on his face. “Nadia, that's your sister? But I thought she was dead.” he asks, stunned. He doesn't inch forward like Nadia expects him to, rather he lets the two have their space.

“You have a sister?” Adam parrots.

Nadia doesn't bother to look at him when answering, “Yes, I do.” Their lips break into a smile. How long they've wanted to say those words. To Gabriel, they always mentioned Zareen in the past tense when they did mention Zareen, and his eyes would fill with some sort of pity. But now. Now... The joy Nadia feels quickly fades when their eyes flicker towards the rest of the bandits behind Zareen. They break the embrace and take a step backwards, and Gabriel steps forward this time. “You're with bandits...you kidnap demigods then?”

“No, Nadia, it isn't like that.” “What it is it like, then?” Nadia demands. They look at Adam and Danielle then Gabriel, and although if they got in a fight with these people they know they would lose, they imagine at least one of them could escape the bandits if they had to run. “Because your people seem fully prepared to take us to the Leviathan cult right now.”

“We're just trying to survive.” the redhead says as she gestures towards the rest of the group. “We never kill demigods, no, we've never killed anyone else we had to. But sometimes we come across their bodies so –“

“So you let the Leviathan cult pilfer corpses for their organs or whatever else they eat?” Nadia spits. Bile rises in their throat at the thought, but more than anything they feel disconnected from Zareen for the first time in their life. Even when they thought she was dead, Nadia kept her memory close to them. She was cherished, but now Nadia doesn't know how to feel towards her.

“We're starving, Nadia!” Zareen replies. She looks over at the other people, her people, and frowns. “We can barely find food anymore, and in this winter we need supplies – I hate what we do, don't act like I enjoy it – but they give us want we need. Wouldn't you do the same?”

No, Nadia wouldn't, and they finally realize how much Zareen has changed, and Nadia wishes they could erase it entirely in favor of their sister, the one they long for.

“Zareen...” They begin and trail off. Nadia looks at the people she's with and how their eyes are sunken and their cheeks hollowed; even the ones who looked at Nadia and the rest of them who contemplated murder look ashamed at what they've become. Nadia wonders, briefly, if Zareen and their positions had been reversed they would have resorted to this.

Zareen looks at Nadia hopefully, but Nadia shakes their head. “Get off the road. My group and I need to leave.”

“Nadia –“

Nadia glares at Zareen. Despite the scar and the eyes and everything which makes Zareen herself, being left alone has taken its toll on her. “You aren't my sister.” They spit the words as if they're only natural and maybe they are.

Zareen frowns. She crosses her arms over her chest. “Nadia, you can't just leave me again.”

“Watch me.”

Zareen scowls, and Nadia tries not to notice the way her eyes water. “Do you have any idea what it was like being on my own? I was sixteen, Nadia, when you and our parents left me in that building! You didn't even bother to look back, not even when the building collapsed –“

“Okay, Zareen, I was stupid, but what did you want me to do? I could barely fight let alone rescue you from a collapsed building! Dad was bleeding out and mom was trying to keep everything together and the pack of hellhounds had us surrounded, so you know how shitty she felt knowing she lost a kid that day? She hadn't eaten for weeks, even when dad got better! We were separated, Zareen, and I can't help that!” Nadia balls their hands into fists.

“You didn't even look for me!” Zareen's crying, now, and Nadia hates how it breaks their heart. “I was terrified, and you didn't even look for me afterwards! I was all alone until I finally found a group of people who took me in, and we did what we had to do to survive. I'm sorry it doesn't adhere to your morals, Nadia, but at least we don't eat people or kill them ourselves!”

“How is that any better? You –“

“Nadia!” Gabriel interrupts. They look at him and the anger rushes out of their body when they notice his expression. “That giant bird is back, and it brought friends.” He points somewhere to the left of Nadia, and when they turn their head their eyes widen at the sight of the gigantic black bird blotting out the sky. Even in the bright of day, it looks so much more terrifying than it had at night, and as it approaches Nadia notices the smaller birds flying below it – and eventually they're close enough that Nadia realizes they aren't birds but harpies. They look like glittering gemstones in the sunlight with their elaborate color schemes on their feathers, and even the gigantic avian creature above them looks strangely beautiful. It looks like the reaper's cloak, almost. As it approaches, Nadia can make out a strange scar across its beak.

“That's not the same one.” Nadia realizes, and without hesitation they jump into the taxi. Danielle and Adam are quick to follow them, but Gabriel stays out a few seconds longer to watch their flight pattern before he gets in the passenger side. “What was that about?” Nadia demands right as they turn on the engine. It splutters to life before abruptly stopping. Nadia tries again, but the taxi does the same thing, and when they look towards the harpies the monsters are picking up the pace.

“I don't think they're after us.” Gabriel says slowly. He focuses his gaze on the harpies, and then the gigantic bird which seems to lead them. “Watch.” Nadia wants to tell him he's being ridiculous, but Danielle speaks up.

“Gabriel's right, they aren't looking at us.” she says, so Nadia finally looks at the group of monsters. True to Danielle's and Gabriel's observations, the monsters look off at something else above them. Something that quickly appears in Nadia' line of sight and reveals itself to be two other gigantic birds that are slightly smaller than the one flighting amongst the harpies. It barely takes minutes before the three birds are attacking each other in the sky, and the harpies dart around the two rival birds looking for weak points.

The screeches which fill the just barely fail to deafen Nadia's ears, but they still cover their ears with their hands. When they look back towards the road, they notice most of the bandits have started looking for shelter sans Zareen who refuses to move. Her eyes lock with Nadia's which prompt them to get out of the taxi. The car door slams with more force than necessary which makes Zareen start. “What are you doing? I said clear the road.”

“No.”

“Zareen, this isn't about me anymore! You'll get yourself killed if you stay out here once those monsters stop fighting!” Nadia glances at the sky as though the monsters will start diving towards the ground in a frenzy.

“Nadia, what's with the taxi?” Adam calls from where he laying halfway out the window. “Is it out of gas?”

“Yes. You all find somewhere safer to hide, I'll catch up with you.” Nadia says without looking back. They stare at Zareen and their eyes trace the curves of her face to try to find some semblance of the person she was. “Zareen,” they begin, “you wouldn't get yourself killed over something this stupid.”

“Stupid? You're my family, Nadia! I'm not giving up on you.” Her voice trembles slightly, and she pulls her gaze away from Nadia as she wraps her arms around her body. A cold breeze catches Nadia's bangs and ruffles them so that the strands of hair cloud rest in front of their field of vision. The acrid smell of smoke wafts through the air as the breeze settles. “Nadia, please, I know you aren't just mad at me, but I promise you I don't want to be that person anymore. None of us wanted to be that kind of person, and I know if they had the willpower all of them would get away from it if they could.”

“If I'm not just mad at you who else am I mad at? Myself?” Nadia laughs harshly. “Zareen, you haven't been around me for eight years, how could you possibly know me?”

“If I can't know anything about you than you can't know anything about me, Nadia, but for the record I've been around since you were born so I think I have a pretty good idea of what you're like.”

“Both of you, shut up!” Adam shouts. Nadia turns around to see him point up at the sky where one of the gigantic birds is falling from the sky at a rate much faster than its own regeneration. Harpies swarm around its descending body, tearing at the wings and chest in a way that makes Nadia think they're taking bites out of it. The larger bird circles around the scene without showing any indication of going after it. Like a fallen angel it lands spread eagled on the buildings which it collapses with the weight of its body; the harpies attack its body like piranhas, and Nadia finally turns away from the scene to look at Zareen, then Adam, then Danielle and Gabriel who look through cars parked on the sides of the road – Nadia garners the two are spending more time stalling.

“Nadia, are we taking your sister or not?” Adam asks with a slight edge to his voice. His eyes flit between Nadia and the bird behind them; the breeze ruffles his dark hair so it looks as if he's more panicked than he actually is. Nadia looks at Zareen when something like guilt unfurls in their gut; guilt at what they aren't quite yet sure of because they've done too many things to feel guilty towards; they don't trust her (don't know her, don't see how the sixteen year old could have become someone like this) but looking back at the behemoth in the sky they can't watch the same thing happen again.

Would they truly have done anything different if they were in Zareen's situation? Would they have met Zareen with such relief if they had been the one abandoned like she had been? Would they really have been so different? They like to imagine they would have, and maybe it's true and Zareen is the one running on wishful thinking, but leaving them again...

Zareen takes several steps towards Nadia. “Nadia, please, I'm still your sister. I'll always be your sister no matter what.” And God, how Nadia wants to believe that. How they want to talk with their sister for hours at a time relishing her existence, but not this person. Never this person; her eyes don't look like they used to. “Nadia, if not for me, do it for our parents. I want to see them again.” Zareen smiles hesitantly. “You're still with them, right?”

Nadia doesn't recall slipping into Farsi, rather they just remember their lips mouthing words they've spoken ages before, long ago in some other world where they and Zareen both still children sharing secrets under the cover of the darkness. It swallows them, Zareen had said proudly once.

“They're dead.” Nadia's lip trembles as they say mouth the words; their shoulders stiffen as their tongue pushes the words from their mouth like some bitter residue of something once pleasant. “They died in a fire.” Their hand reaches up to grasp the wedding ring around their neck – it's slightly too large for their own fingers; their mother would have said it was because Nadia never ate enough. “Always giving your food to your sister,” she would have frowned, “you're too enabling of her actions, Nadia.”

“Nadia – “

“I can't lose you again, Zareen.” Nadia admits finally. “Not you, too.”

“Then let me come with you,” Zareen says gently. “and you won't.” She steps forward and opens her arms in an embrace, but Nadia doesn't do anything but give a slight jerk of their head that can barely be interpreted as a nod. Swiftly, they turn on their heel before Zareen can say anything. Gravel crunches underneath their boots, a steady constant which serves as a slight reprieve from the noises of the monsters above, and Gabriel watches Nadia with a level gaze as they approach. He doesn't say anything, but the slight downturn of his lips conveys everything he needs to when his eyes shift between Nadia to Zareen. “You find a car or something yet?” Nadia asks.

Gabriel shakes his head. “They're all empty, and most have already been picked apart on the inside.” His gaze moves to the gigantic bird in the sky, then to Danielle when an engine roars to life a few feet away from where the two of them stand. Nadia turns their head just in time to watch her jump out of the front seat of a gray minivan with peeling paint and cracked windows. She's grinning from ear to ear, and Adam immediately jumps in the passenger side before Gabriel, Nadia, or Zareen can even move.

Nadia looks at Gabriel who shrugs, and together the two grab the supplies from the taxi and stuff them into the very backseat of the minivan. Zareen waits till Gabriel and Nadia sit themselves down before getting inside the minivan, but even then she hesitates.

Nadia doesn't look at her as she passes them to situate herself in the backseat. Gabriel gives her a small, brief smile which she hesitantly returns as Danielle starts driving. Gradually, the tires roll across the snow, and Nadia looks up at the monsters floating in the sky as if they were made entirely of feathers. Not even the harpies spare them a glance.

Nadia stretches their legs out in front of them, closes their eyes, and lets the tension curl off in waves from their fingertips. The day has been too stressful for them, from finding the Leviathan cult to rescuing Adam to finding out Zareen's still alive... They could seal themself in San Francisco's walls for a month and still be exhausted. God, if it takes two weeks to get back there they won't know what to do with themself; they've seen enough snow for a lifetime.

“Dani, are you sure you should be driving?”

“Gabe, she's fine.”

“Don't call me Gabe, and how do you know?” Gabriel pauses. “When Nadia and I ran into her she crashed a car into a pole, so I'm not sure I trust her driving skills right now. Especially with everything that happened with the cult.”

“You were with the Leviathan cult?” Zareen's sounds vaguely nervous at the fact.

“It's a long story. Nadia and I can fill you in later, but right now I'm going to sleep.” Gabriel replies right as Adam says, “How many other cults have you come across?”

Zareen must make a face because Adam scoffs. Nadia resists the urge to smile; he acts so much younger than he looks. “And Dani's driving is fine." Adam pauses then adds, "Gabe.” He laughs, so Gabriel must glare at him.

“I'm trying to concentrate.” Danielle chimes in front the driver's seat. But there's a slight lift to her voice that makes Nadia think she isn't completely serious; something deflates in the space the five of them occupy – it's as if a balloon has been popped and released all its air. The thought Nadia would find comforting, but instead they force themself to sleep even though they aren't tired.

When they wake up, Gabriel is driving and Danielle and Adam are both passed out in the backseat; their snores combine remind Nadia of a growling beast of some sort; Nadia thinks the one who should be passed out cold is Gabriel, not those two. Someone has moved the bags into the middle section of the minivan – probably Adam, Danielle, or both – and Zareen sits in the passenger seat so still that Nadia doesn't think she's awake until she moves her elbow off her armrest.

“Nice nap?” Gabriel asks when Nadia sits up. They offer a shrug of their shoulders that could barely be classified as such, and look outside. The setting sun casts a pinkish, reddish hue across the sky that makes the sky appear as if on fire. Or, they think with a small quirk of their lips, as if the heavens are ablaze. Perhaps that's why it needs a messenger on Earth.

“As nice as sleeping in the seat of a moving vehicle can get. I'm surprised you're not still sleeping.”

Gabriel rolls his eyes, but Nadia can see it through the rearview mirror. He meets their gaze and his lips curve in a smile that looks too forced, and Nadia's gaze drifts to Zareen. Neither of them greet each other.

“Zareen was telling me about your childhoods. I didn't know you played the cello.”

“It didn't seem important enough to tell, and no one's found a cello yet on their scavenging missions.” Nadia replies. They don't look at Zareen as they talk, and she doesn't make a move to strike up a conversation with them either.

“Nadia was the musical one,” Zareen chimes in. Her voice is too familiar, and she inserts herself into the conversation too easily; Nadia wants to tell her she doesn't belong with them, but they cannot voice the words souring their stomach. “I got the volleyball and soccer trophies.” And Nadia remembers those trophies; Zareen polished them every night before she fell asleep, and every night when she was finished she placed them gently atop the bookshelf on her side of their room. Neither of them did much reading so the shelf itself was purely for decoration, but as the years went on the two of them filled it with trophies and sheet music and plastic figurines and tape recorders. The two of them stuffed the nooks with sea shells they found on the beach until their family's annual trips to Maine stopped, and Zareen would doodle in the margins of Nadia's sheet music because she knew they didn't mind.

They wish they had saved that sheet music. Or something from their past save for a wedding ring that doesn't even belong to them – not really.

Gabriel meets Nadia's gaze in the rearview mirror. “Zareen,” He tilts his head slightly to the right. “you should get some sleep. You must be exhausted.” Zareen finally looks back at Nadia before nodding, and a small part of Nadia wishes they could identify the emotion in her gaze.

When Gabriel's sure she's sleeping, he asks, “Are you okay, Nadia?”

The words sink like a weight in the open air. Something goes underneath the wheels and Gabriel's grip tightens around the steering wheel; when Nadia rolls down the window just enough to stick their head out, they see the half-eaten remains of something they don't want to identify. The wind bites their face so viciously in those seconds that when they pull their head back inside they see their reddened face in the mirror.

“I don't know.” they admit. “I should be happy seeing Zareen again, I want to be, but she's so different now. What she did...”

“Nadia, you barely know what she did when she was with the bandits. Zareen never gave us the full story, and they were obviously struggling – more than we were.” Gabriel's grip relaxes on the steering wheel, and he meets Nadia's gaze. His eyes have never been piercing to Nadia, rather they're always framed by dark circles, but they almost look it now. “And what about what you've done? You can't judge Zareen when you've done the same.”

Nadia sighs. “I know.”

Gabriel raises his eyebrows. “But?”

“If I push her away I won't have to lose her again.” Something curls in Nadia's stomach at the words, and they frown as their right hand gropes for the ring around their neck. Their mother never seemed to take it off so Nadia, as a child, could have sworn it was sewn onto her skin. When Nadia and Zareen were fifteen, they assumed that their mother's one-eighty personality shift was because she lost all her possessions and couldn't flaunt her wealth anymore, but the night Zareen was separated from them Nadia realized it was because she was terrified for her children and her husband. “How long till we get to San Francisco?” they ask but already have a good idea of the answer.

If Gabriel notices their shift, he doesn't say anything about it. “It hasn't snowed yet, and I'm going southeast so the roads might not be as terrible, so fingers crossed it'll take about four days.”

“Less if we don't stop.”

“Yes, but I think everyone is going to need a place to sleep that isn't a minivan.” There's a smile in his voice, and Nadia smiles to themself. If there's any constant to this world, they don't mind it being Gabriel and his penchant for sleep and his voice of reason.

The minivan makes a sharp right and the tires skid on the ice; Nadia's seat beat digs into their torso as Gabriel slams on the brakes and a screeching sound fills the air. Something slams into the minivan, toppling it over, and the window shatters all across Nadia's body for the second time since the recon mission. They catch a glimpse of something like a beak before a tentacle wraps around Nadia's neck. Mucus stains Nadia's clothes, drips down their neck, and the stench of salt water fills their lungs.

A knife sprouts in the tentacle, but instead of releasing its grip the appendage tightens around Nadia's neck.

Black spots dot their vision, their fingers unclip the seat beat then try to find purchase on the slippery appendages, and faintly Nadia hears both Danielle and Zareen shouting their name. When they look towards the front seat, they see a hole in the windshield where Gabriel should be.

Nadia gropes for the swiss army knife in the pocket and, upon finding it, jam it into the appendage. They pull it upwards with what strength they can muster, and blood spews across their face as the tentacle finally relaxes around their throat. Nadia severs the rest of it with the blade, and the monster withdraws its arm even as it starts regenerating.

“Where's Gabriel?” Nadia demands, but with their weakened voice it comes out as a feeble croak. They want nothing more than to lie down and breathe for a lifetime, but they know they'd never forgive themself if they did.

“A few of those tentacle things broke the windshield and grabbed him.” Zareen replies. Blood soaks her pants, and when Nadia climbs to the front seat they notice a few decent sized chunks of glass have embedded themselves into their left leg; she must be in too much pain to move them. She hands Nadia a blade much longer than the swiss army knife they're holding; their fingertips touch, and the action is achingly familiar. “Be careful.” she murmurs. Nadia doesn't say anything before they climb out of the minivan.

Light pours over their body when their feet step in the ankle-deep snow. They're aware of the stinging of their face and the way their neck still aches, but they still take in the gigantic nautilus-like creature laying in the snow. From its gorgeous vermillion-speckled pale yellow shell the size of a four-story building, at least twenty forty-foot long tentacles sprout. Its body looks like it's falling out of the shell; its two bulging black eyes constantly look around from the mouth of the shell. Some are slightly shorter, but all of them secrete some sort of mucus that leaves damp patches in the snow when the tentacles lie in it.

Dark, rich, red blood stains the snow a few feet away from the kraken where one of its limbs has been severed off. Nadia doesn't see Gabriel, so they assume he's hiding somewhere.

One of the kraken's eyes looks at Nadia, and immediately all of its tentacles shot towards them. Nadia dives behind the upturned minivan then winces as pain shoots through their right elbow when they bang it against the metal of the door.

The kraken suddenly lets out a whine similar to a balloon letting out air; Nadia assumes Gabriel has attacked it with something before they look out and see Danielle holding their crossbow. There's blood staining the white fabric of their coat covering her shoulders, but she still fires another bolt at the monster. It hits the kraken's left eye in the center, and all of its tentacles withdraw to protect its head. Gabriel throws another knife at the kraken's head, and it catches on one of the tentacles. Dark blood oozes from the wound, and in droplets it stains the white snow, and without any warning the kraken using its tentacles like legs and lobs its body away from the scene as quickly as it can.

Nadia grabs onto the van to steady themself as Gabriel runs towards them. He extends his arms and brushes his fingertips against Nadia's throat lightly; Nadia's eyes watch him as his fingertips trace the bruises forming on the skin. “You okay?” he asks when he pulls his hands away and looks them in the eyes.

Nadia nods. “I'm fine. What about you?”

“That thing nearly tore off my right arm, but I'm fine.” His gaze drifts to Danielle who runs back into the van to help Zareen out, and he exhales languidly. “C'mon, let's help Danielle.” Under his breath, he says something that sounds suspiciously like, “I officially hate the East Coast.”

Danielle wraps her arm around Zareen's waist and helps her hobble into the snow then leads her into a hospital while Gabriel helps her, and Nadia carries Adam's unconscious body out of the car and follows them. The doors are still intact, and once Danielle and Gabriel set Zareen down Danielle bolts out down one of the hallways. Mere minutes later she comes back wheeling a cot that Nadia wouldn't dare sleep in even if it does look clean. They set Adam's body on it, and after setting the crossbow on one of the chairs Danielle doesn't waste any time cleaning the blood from his forehead with a damp cloth that's really a soggy handkerchief.

Zareen cleans her own wounds while Gabriel goes out to retrieve what supplies he can from the minivan, and feeling slightly out of place Nadia follows him.

They catch up to him with ease even in the deep snow. The bloodstains seem to create flowers in the white snow, and the mucus creates imprints of the kraken's tentacles where they had not landed in the snow; Nadia still smells the tang of salt water.

Gabriel pulls out a squashed duffle bag while Nadia rummages around grabbing whatever they can find which happens to be a quiver full of broken bolts, Danielle's backpack, and another duffle bag that is starting to split at the bottom. They pull everything from the minivan and start towards the hospital; Gabriel follows them closely, and when Nadia opens the door Gabriel sets the bag on the reception counter while Nadia sets their stuff beside it.

“This is all that was still intact.” Gabriel informs them, but only Zareen and Nadia seem to be listening – Danielle nods her head as if she's trying to convince them she's paying attention but her eyes never leave Adam's face.

“We should stay here the rest of the day then get a move on in the morning. With any luck, the kraken won't come back.” Nadia adds. Gabriel nods and starts grabbing what food is still intact from the duffle bag. Most of the canned food have been smashed, as have the dry food Margaret gave them, but Nadia still figures they're edible.

“Nadia, are okay?” Zareen asks. She brushes her fingers against her neck as her mouth forms a frown, and Nadia nods.

“I'm fine.” But when they swallow some food down, they note the way their throat feels as if they're swallowing broken glass. Brushing it off, they grab a blanket from one of the duffle bags and wrap it around their body before sitting up on the counter. Gabriel tosses a blanket to Zareen before sitting beside Nadia, and she shifts her gaze to Danielle. “Dani, how's Adam?”

“He's breathing,” Danielle begins then takes a breath. Nadia prepares for the words to tremble from her mouth like they usually do, but instead she doesn't say anything else but “he'll be okay.” Her thumb brushes the side of his face gently, slowly, before she peels herself away from him. “What about you guys? Are you doing okay? Especially you, Zareen, because your legs must hurt.”

Zareen's lips quirk upwards. “I'm fine. I've felt worse.” She looks at Nadia when she says it. Nadia shifts where they sit, and their gaze falls to the white floor. What used to be a white floor, rather, because dark stains mark where people before them have sought refuge.

“Nadia and I are fine, too, Dani.” Gabriel adds before a crease forms in his brow. “What was a kraken doing on land? Aren't they sea monsters for a reason?”

Zareen is the one who shifts in her chair at that. Her eyes seem to darken when her mouth opens, and something cold plummets in Nadia's stomach before she even speaks. “I think I know why.” She stops, swallows, and looks at Adam who frowns in his sleep when Danielle moves to sit in a chair next to him. “The Leviathan cult, they're getting ready for something big. So much more demigods have been killed recently, and I only overheard this when we were trading but I think the Leviathan is moving to dry land.”

Gabriel raises his eyebrows. “What? Isn't the Leviathan just a giant sea serpent, so it can't come on dry land unless it has legs.”

“I don't know the full story,” Zareen admits, “but no one actually has seen the Leviathan – it could very well be much worse than a sea serpent.” She pauses again. The wind howls outside and blows snow around in something like a tornado that barely lifts off the ground. “I heard we don't have just the Leviathan to worry about either, that there's some other giant monster that helped start all this. But whether or not that's true, monsters are starting to get agitated. You saw those rocs and harpies fighting, and now a kraken's on dry land obviously anticipating something big.”

“So, what does this mean?” Gabriel asks.

“It means our mission succeeded after all.” Nadia replies, but when they look at Zareen the nagging feeling at the back of their head doesn't disappear. It's just a monster, they try to tell themself, and you've fought enough of those before. Except they have no idea what to expect, and this is more than a hellhound. “We'll tell this to Anita when we get back and it'll cease being our problem.” they say out loud, and although Gabriel hesitates he still nods in agreement with the plan. Neither of them are demigods after all; this is a job for one.

“What about the Leviathan though? What does this mean for us?” Danielle looks back and forth between Nadia and Zareen as if they have the answers she seeks, but Nadia just shrugs and Zareen doesn't meet her gaze. “We're going to die, aren't we.”

“Dani – “

“Gabriel, you can't kill something like the Leviathan.” Danielle's voice is strangely somber when she says, “I saw it destroy those helicopters. It's huge. You can't possibly go up against something like that and win.”

“We won't be, Dani,” Nadia replies. “and neither will you or Adam. We'll do whatever Anita decides, so we shouldn't think about that now.” But they find that when the words leave their lips they can't help but think about what this means. Perhaps the descending temperature is part of this, too, because the monsters just aren't enough and the world needs to freeze itself as well.

Nadia drives the SUV when Gabriel finds it. It isn't out of want, but rather a desire to keep their hands doing something to distract themself from their thoughts. From where Gabriel sits beside them in the passenger seat, he reads over the map to himself and occasionally mentions cities Nadia should drive through.

They drive for days it feels. Gabriel talks with Zareen, then Danielle, then reluctantly with an Adam who refuses to call him anything but Gabe with the reason that “it's funny to see your face scrunch up like that”. Nadia tells him to knock it off, but admittedly they rely on the second distraction.

Eventually, Gabriel takes over with a stern expression that doesn't hold when he looks at Nadia for a second too long. His hand tangles with Nadia's for a brief moment, and the warmth which spreads through the fabric of his gloves seems like it should be a hidden message of some sort. He squeezes their hand once before pulling his own away and telling them they need to rest. So they do.

Nadia wakes up to Danielle and Zareen talking in soft murmurs while Gabriel drives. “I wish I was old enough to remember that.” Danielle says in response to something Zareen tells her. Danielle is smiling, and there's a dreamy quality to her eyes.

“You can remember literally everything, Dani,” Zareen replies softly. She sounds as if she's trying not to wake Nadia up. “you could have been one years old and you'd remember more details about the world than I can from when I was ten.”

“I never saw the sea, though. I never went to a beach before all this. I wish I had.” Danielle sighs. “I wish I could have done so much more.”

“You were only four, Dani.”

“I know.” She doesn't say anything for a long time, then: “I wish this hadn't happened.”

“I know.”

“We can see everything when this ends,” Adam chimes in; his voice is so much more optimistic than Nadia expects; they wonder if it's for his own comfort or Danielle's or maybe a little bit of both.

Some days later, Nadia drives the SUV through the Golden Gate Bridge and into San Francisco. Adam and Danielle stare at the sight of the walls towering around the city with wide eyes as Nadia eyes the waves crash against the island shore. They seem higher almost.

“When we get inside, we'll find Anita and someone will show you three to your residences.” Nadia informs Zareen, Danielle, and Adam.

“Thanks, Nadia.” Adam says sincerely. Nadia's eyes widen slightly, but after a few seconds their gaze softens; they suppose there is some merit to helping people even now. Nadia parks at the foot of the gates then climbs out of the SUV with ease. The snow's touched even San Francisco in the time that Gabriel and Nadia have been away from the city, and the crisp air burns Nadia's nostrils when they inhale through their nose. A woman in her late thirties named Janae stands at the foot of the gate. Janae hesitates before waving at Nadia; she embraces them after a second to ponder that a wave seems to casual.

“Nadia, you're alive!” she comments with a smile both in her words and on her face. Her cornrows are piled into a bun at the top of her head today; the braids which escape from the hair tie dangle against and frame her face. Her hand grips Nadia's forearm, then relaxes. “If Gabriel with you?”

“He is.” Nadia looks back at the SUV and motions the others to come out. “We found some people, too.”

Janae steps away from Nadia and smiles at Danielle and Zareen who step out first. She greets them like one would an old friend when they exchange names; Danielle flushes underneath Janae's iron-like embrace while Zareen tries to hug her back.

“Janae, can you clear us?” Gabriel asks when he hops out of the SUV. Adam nods at Janae in lieu of a greeting although he lets Danielle give her his name.

“Yeah, yeah, in time. Can't I catch up with you two first?” But she still laughs at his expression and pulls on the lever stick out of the wall. “You should see Peregrine, I think he's been bored without you to entertain him.”

“I'm not going near that little demon ever again.” Gabriel proclaims with an expression so resolute that Nadia rolls their eyes. Janae waves him off as if she doesn't quite believe him; Nadia thinks she's a bit misguided to since Gabriel has lost countless pairs of socks to the Maine coon. Unofficially, Janae lives with the cat, but he manages to escape regardless of her attempts to stop him and someone on their apartment floor always wakes up to a giant gray furball on top of their kitchen table. With Gabriel's door nearly always ajar, he goes in his house and seems to steal more things than other people.

As the gate opens and Nadia walks back to the SUV, Janae says, “Let's find some time to have dinner or something one night, you hear? You three are welcome as well. I live on Nadia's floor.”

“Thank you, Janae.” Zareen says sincerely; once everyone's in the SUV, Janae steps aside and Nadia brings the five of them into the city where the sidewalks and even the tops of the smaller buildings are dusted white. The streets have been paved and the snow collects into gray two foot clumps on the sides; footsteps scatter across the sidewalks yet no one seems to have bothered to pave them. Behind them, the gate closes with a near-deafening clang.

A middle-aged couple stops and watches the SUV drive by while Adam, Danielle, and Zareen stare out at this city with expression ranging from disappoint to awe. When Zareen's back hits their seat, she comments, “I thought the city would have been more impressive.”

“It's safe,” Adam looks back at Zareen to frown, “so that's enough for me.” He turns his attention back to the city, drinking in the snow-capped buildings and dead trees and footsteps in the snow and people wearing layers upon layers of warm clothes. “It's been so long since I've seen a city like this.”

“It looks nicer in the summer.” Nadia replies in response to both Adam and Zareen. They park in front of an office building around five stories, but before they get out they turn in their seat and look back at Adam, Danielle, and Zareen. “This is makeshift city hall, aka Anita's, our leader, house. We'll all meet with her, then when you three are assigned to an apartment or house Gabriel and I will meet with you. Anita will probably assign you a car if we have any, so you can either wait for us or leave immediately.”

Adam and Danielle mod while Zareen looks like she wants to say more but decides against it. Adam exits first, then Danielle and Zareen follow him before Nadia and Gabriel hop out of the SUV. The snow crunches underneath their feet when they land, and Gabriel starts walking ahead of them then opens the door. “She's a bit intimidating a first, but you get used to her.” he informs them before leading the four of them inside.

Long before Nadia first came here, countless buildings had been torn down either for the creation of the walls or because they needed room to construct greenhouses or the buildings themselves were unsafe. One of those buildings was city hall, and Nadia imagines there was some sentiment attached to the building but as long as the authority of the city lives somewhere they can't see the difference whether its an office building or a palace.

People clean shaven and crisp-clothed bustle about the first floor when Nadia walks in. Some of them stop and wave, including Kyle whose curly red hair is starting to go gray, but most of them ignore the five of them. Demigods have the most business here since Anita tries to figure out where the next scavenging parties will go based on the information on bandits and the Leviathan cult, and some of the children of Harmonia and the weather-related gods just offer peace and practicality with the weather. Anita is a mortal herself, so Nadia can't see how she doesn't get overwhelmed with so many demigods existing in one place

“Anita stays on the fifth floor for the most part,” Gabriel explains as he leads them up the stairwell. “but during the evening she occasionally wanders the city. Nadia and I have seen her walking her dog a couple times, and she offered quite good advice about how to maintain plants in your house.”

“Good, but you would have thought we were planning on taking care of an entire forest from the way she talked. She seems to know more about botany than even the Demeter kids.” “Do you know any demigods here?” Danielle asks Nadia. She takes the stairs slowly even though they're just cement blocks.

“A few,” is all Nadia says, but Gabriel adds, “We know two. One of them is a daughter of Demeter while the other is a child of Ate.”

“Ate?” Zareen questions.

“Goddess of discord or something,” Gabriel replies. “there are people who hold Greek mythology classes in the central library but not even they know a lot about who she is.”

“So I could figure out who my mom is there.” Danielle murmurs to herself. Something lights up in her face, and she finds herself grinning at Adam. “We could both find how who our parents are.”

“You could.” Nadia agrees. They stop at the fifth floor, open the door, and motion for the others to go ahead of them. When Zareen smiles at them, they look out the opaque window and say nothing when she walks through the door.

People still filter through the floor, although they hold stacks of papers and maps instead of nothing as opposed to the other floors. They greet Gabriel and Nadia pleasantly, and they even stop to ask the names of Zareen, Adam, and Danielle before they disappear down the steps. Nadia makes a left into a room labeled “Director's Room” where a dark skinned woman in her sixties sits at a leather spinning chair. Anita's classes slip off her nose when she looks up from a map sharply, but when she recognizes Nadia and Gabriel her tight-lipped expression relaxes into a smile.

“Nadia, Gabriel, welcome back.” Her thick New Yorker accent hasn't changed even in the slightest since she came here years ago; Gabriel is convinced she likes how it sets her apart from everyone else so is determined to keep it. “Who are these three?” Her moon-wide eyes narrow behind her classes. Danielle shifts on her feet, and Adam looks up at the ceiling. Zareen is the only one who doesn't yield her gaze.

“I'm Zareen,” Zareen replies. “I hear your name is Anita and you run this city.”

“That would be an understatement.” Anita replies but offers no elaboration. She turns her face to look at Adam and Danielle. “And your names?”

“Dani,” Danielle squeaks right as Adam mutters, “Adam.”

“I'm guessing you're going to live here. Nadia,” Anita turns her attention to them, “are there any vacant apartments in your complex? I heard the Les moved out into one of the houses a few months ago, but I don't know about anyone else.”

“Elise and Ruben moved in together, so there's another apartment vacant,” Gabriel replies.

“Hmm, okay.” Anita pauses for a few moments to think, leaving Nadia to notice the new glass paper weight on the edge of Anita's desk. “The three of you can decide who gets which apartment, but once you do one of you three come see me and I'll record the information.” She clears her throat, and then leans back in her chair. “Now, if you three could step out so I can speak with Gabriel and Nadia that would be appreciated.”

Zareen thanks Anita before she exits the room, and Danielle murmurs her one while Adam offers a stiff nod before exiting. Once the door closes at Adam's feet, Nadia turns back towards Anita and sees her body deflate slightly.

“So many things to do,” she murmurs to herself before straightening her back. “how are you two? It took you much longer than I anticipated.” She narrows her eyes when she says it, so Nadia can't help but feel as if they're in the wrong.

“The weather is so much worse east of here.” Nadia replies.

“We got the information as you requested, though.” Gabriel adds. He looks at Nadia before he continues. “It looks like all the monsters have been more agitated than useful in preparation for something, not just the Leviathan cult, and we heard this is because the actual Leviathan is moving towards land and disturbing everything.”

Anita raises her eyebrows. “The Leviathan?”

Nadia nods. “Yes, and there may be another monster who worked in tandem with the Leviathan. Both of them are likely growing restless and moving to dry land.”

And you found this out from the Leviathan cult?”

Gabriel frowns. “Not exactly. We managed to enter the Leviathan cult's territory, but we had some trouble and had to get away before we could receive any information. Instead, we got our information from Zareen out there who was with a group of bandits and dealt with the cult enough to pick up some information.”

Anita narrows her eyes. “You knowingly brought a bandit into this compound?”

“Anita –“ Gabriel begins, but Nadia interrupts him.

“She's my sister, Anita. My twin, to be specific. What other bandits do, her group never did. They were bandits only in name, not in action.” Nadia doesn't show the surprise they feel after saying the words, but when they close their mouth and wait for Anita to say something they realize they don't regret their own words.

Anita remains silent for a few moments as she mulls over Nadia's words. The broken clock on the wall is as clean as the first time Nadia saw it, and the room smells faintly of peppermints although Nadia knows that Anita doesn't care for them.

“I believe you,” Anita finally says. Nadia lets out a breath they didn't know they had been holding, but Anita's face still contorts into a frown. She barely looks a day over forty, but her eyes reveal her true age with the wrinkles underneath them and the toil this life has taken on her. The tips of her fingernails, despite everything crisp and rigid about her, used to color with yellows and oranges and greens; occasionally, Nadia will see the paints cling to her like a lifeline, but those occasions stretch further apart now.

“But I can't trust that she won't do anything, so I will have someone watch over her until I decide she is trustworthy.” Her lips form a frown as she says the words like she expects Nadia to protest, but they offer only a brief nod.

“I understand.”

Gabriel turns to them, his eyebrows raised, but he doesn't say anything. He looks back at Anita when she starts talking, yet Nadia still feels his gaze on them. “I'll go over the information you've given me, then within a few days I'll send for you.” Anita's lips form a small smile. “Until then, both of you get some rest.” Her eyes soften, as they do only on rare occasions when she's away from the burden this position place upon her, and briefly Nadia remembers the first time they saw them when her eyes were hardened and what they swore was unfeeling, but she is as emotionless as Sarah is.

“We will, thank you.” Nadia replies; they walk out of the room before Gabriel, and when they close the door Zareen stops pacing at looks at them. Her mouth opens, but Nadia walks past her before she has a chance to say anything. “Gabriel and I will show you your rooms once we reach our apartment complex.” they say once they hear Adam and Danielle's footfalls behind them. Nadia looks behind them at Gabriel and Zareen as Gabriel tells her something the cannot hear; while Gabriel leaves first, Zareen only starts to follow them when Nadia begins walking down the stairs.

“You'll stay either here or the Les' old one,” Nadia explains to Adam and Danielle who doesn't even bother to wait until looking around the apartment. Zareen watches the people as they come and go, and her dust-covered clothes and face make people stop and actually take in her appearance before noticing Nadia or Gabriel. Those who do, they greet Nadia and Gabriel pleasantly before going about their business. “Split the two between yourselves, just don't forget to tell Anita.”

From inside the apartment, Danielle asks, “You two live on this floor, right?”

“I do,” Gabriel says, “but Nadia lives a floor above this one. If you ever need anything you can ask us.” Nadia nods in agreement right when someone says, “Nadia? Gabriel?”

Nadia and Gabriel collectively turn their heads to the left to see Sarah stepping out of the apartment she and Sam share. Unlike the last time Nadia saw her, her red hair is down, messily kept and uneven in the front where it looks like she's tried to give herself bangs. Either herself, or Sam. Nadia notices the leather eyepatch she wears looks like it has been stitched together when Sarah starts jogging towards the two of them; she tackles Gabriel in a hug that makes him stumble slightly. And she's grinning, something that makes Nadia's lungs twist uncomfortably. “Gabriel, it's good to see you again! I was worried you wouldn't come back, what kept you?”

“The weather, mostly.” Nadia replies so Sarah turns her attention to them after she detaches herself from Gabriel. “We found some people as well.” they add while jabbing their thumb behind them.

Sarah finally notices the three people standing behind Nadia and Gabriel, and although she doesn't know them her smile doesn't waver. “Hi, I'm Sarah. What're your names?”

“Zareen,” Zareen begins, while Adam and Danielle respond with their own names. “Nadia's sister.” Sarah raises an eyebrow, and for the second time Nadia feels guilt knit itself into the sinew of her ribcage.

“I didn't know you had a sister.”

“You never asked,” but once the words fall Nadia winces internally at how they sound. So many things they should have done with Sarah involved, yet none of them they can ever seem to accomplish. “I'm sorry.” Years too late, but the letters fall neatly off of their tongue regardless.

Sarah's gaze shifts from Nadia to Zareen again before she takes a step backward. “Sam went out a few days before you got back, but she'll probably be back within the week since it's just a scavenging mission.” She says this more to herself than to Nadia and the rest of their group, but Nadia appreciates it all the same. They nod to Sarah as she walks away after saying how nice it was to meet Zareen, Adam, and Danielle.

Danielle turns to Nadia. “Who is Sam?”

“Sarah's girlfriend.” Nadia replies. They share a brief look with Gabriel before continuing. “We all should get some sleep. Don't forget you can ask us for help if you need anything.” Danielle smiles at the both of them while Adam gives them a nod; Zareen looks at Nadia the longest, something indescribable in her eyes. Her eyes which Nadia used to swear had flecks of green in them; it was another piece of common ground between them, but those small sparks of color existed only in Nadia's and Zareen's imagination. Relief burns blue in Nadia's chest when Zareen finally looks away. Nadia leaves before Gabriel, before any of them, and their boots mold into the floors like they had once before, and the familiarity wraps itself around Nadia once they find themself walking down the staircase back towards their own solitude. The walls look the same. The faces of the people greeting them look the same, if not slightly molded by different hands now.

“Nadia, you look like a wreck.” someone comments. Matthew, by the drawl of the voice. They barely remember to nod before their right hand wraps around the doorknob of their apartment. Cold to the touch, but usual. A feather-light touch with the fingertips was a butterfly kiss, they remember someone saying once; they wonder if this would classify as one.

The smell hits them first. Wood shavings, and the permanent rich scent of pine although they've never done anything or brought anything in here to warrant the smell. It never clogs their throat, so they grow used to it as they have Gabriel showing up at their door at old hours of the night with wide eyes and an apology on his lips. They talk on those nights. Nothing of importance, just words to spew into the darkness. They would grow irritated of it if they didn't do the same.

The walls are as empty as they have always been; the vases still clash with the cream of them, but they had been their father's; the floorboards creak with the surprising weight of their body, and they finally remove their shoes when they reach the kitchen and remember they're home. Home as a default; the first crumbled, and the second burnt to the ground while Nadia and the rest of them watched. They're hesitant to call it home lest the sea rises up and swallows it, but they've run out of words and that particular meaning has been exhausted anyway.

They shrug off their coat before they reach their bedroom, but instead of draping it over the bare nightstand it crumples to the floor while they collapse on their bed. They wait for their body to sink into the comforter and sheets.

''The orange flames erupt from black cracks in the ground that exist as voids rather than opening into the earth, and when the violet tinge appears it's as if some invisible hand paints them before Nadia's own eyes. Instead of warmth, a bitter cold grips Nadia's wrist when one of the flames lashes out at Nadia like a snake.''

''Gradually, three figures morph into Nadia's field of vision. As specters they exist out of the corner of Nadia's eyes, and when they turn their head they vanish into the air as smoke, curling upwards into the sky without a sun.''

Nadia wakes up shivering.

They pull the comforter around their body, curl their knees against their chest, and let their head fall into their hands.

They could have saved them, their parents.

The flames they could have been quick enough to dodge; Sarah would have understood if Nadia had prioritized their parents over the other people in the hotel. She would have understood, she would have nodded and asked Nadia try to find and rescue them. But instead Nadia believed they would be fine and tried to help as many of the others as they could.

And now Zareen is back from the dead, but Nadia can't look at her straight anymore. She's not the same, and they'll repeat it like a manta until their dying breath. None of them are, not Sarah, not Sam, not Gabriel, not Matthew. Eric is in a ditch in the ground and Sam is gallivanting with people like she cares about them, and Nadia's parents' bodies are ash somewhere underneath pounds of brick and wood and monster guts. They should have done something, Sarah should have done something, Sam should have done something rather than run away like a coward. God, they want to hate them. They do, they should, but they don't, not really, because her eyes aren't the same as they used to be and she never grows thistle anymore.

They push themself off the bed, and without even bothering to pull on their coat or boots they walk out of their door, lock it, and gradually make their way up the steps. Someone is sleeping in the open elevator with a blue blanket tucked around their body; Nadia pulls it up where it has partially slipped off their body before moving on.

The walls seem to cave in on them at night, and while their eyes adjust to the darkness they see light pouring through some of the cracks between the door and the doorframe. Nadia knows all the people here by name, yet most of them are still mysteries.

They knock on Gabriel's door twice even though the door is partially ajar; they wait only a few moments before the door swings up and Gabriel blinks up at them. He's changed from his heavy coat and snow pants to a sweatshirt a size too large and a pair of gray sweatpants that are beginning to fall apart. His his hair is tied back with a pink hairband with a plastic star on it; something their shared friend Beatriz had to him as a birthday present once. He opens the door with a smile that doesn't quite reach his drooping eyes then leads them towards his couch. One of the pillows is hot pink while another is tan to match the couch. The lamp in the corner casts a dim glow throughout the room.

Nadia sits themselves on the couch near the right armrest while Gabriel sits on the coffee table across from them. Nadia feels their body deflate in his presence. Their body sinks into the couch, and they say. “I dreamt of them again.”

Gabriel's face softens, and his lips form a frown. “You okay?”

Nadia' shrugs. Sighs. “I don't know,” they admit, “this should have stopped years ago but the dream keeps coming back.” Gabriel picks a blanket off the floor and hands it to them; Nadia thanks him and wraps it around their shoulders. “I miss them.” Their words feel as if they're absorbed by the darkness, but when Gabriel nudges his foot against Nadia's they know they haven't been.

“I know,” he murmurs.

“I miss Zareen, too,” they admit. They swallow the lump in their throat. “and she's right here. She's breathing, but I still miss her.” They breathe through their nose when their throat constricts, and they feel the couch dip when Gabriel moves to sit beside them. “I miss when we were kids and we used to share birthdays and laugh together when we tried to sing a duet and get the words wrong.” Something wet drips off their nose but they ignore it; Gabriel offers nothing but a shoulder pressed against their own, yet that is enough.

They pause for a few moments, let the air curl around them like a shroud. “I wish this all would stop.” they admit.

“I wish it would, too.” Gabriel agrees. The words float around the two unaccompanied for a few moments while the night sinks completely into Nadia's bones. Nadia has never cared for the nighttime except for now; they never cared about the moments away from the fighting until they experience one, and they never realized how much dreams could make them fall apart until they started having nightmares.

Nadia wraps the blanket tighter around their body. “Do you think Zareen would forgive me?”

Gabriel responds immediately. “Yes,” then he adds, “because she's nothing like you.” His eyes widens right as the words leave his mouth, but Nadia cracks a smile instead.

“No, she's not.” They don't know why they're smiling at first, but maybe it's because the last time they were here their family still had three dead members until of two. “I'm glad I met you, Gabriel.”

“Really,” Gabriel deadpans. “because I constantly regret meeting you.” Nadia snorts and knocks their shoulder into his with a bit more force than necessary, but he only smiles.

The air is lighter here. The dim glow of the lamp in the corner casts starlight over the two of them; Nadia feels the weight in their chest lifting as they exhale through their nose and inhale through their mouth. Before, their demons had been regular, anticipated, but now all they can think of are the walls and the sea and the flames which never seem to flicker out.

“Do you ever think about them?” Nadia asks. “Your parents?” They know the answer, or they think they do; they've never talked about this with Gabriel before. They know the how's and the what happened after's, but they don't know if he thinks abut them like Nadia does, if he pushes the thought of them away, or if he sleeps because he wants to dream of them constantly.

“Of course.” Gabriel admits, quietly. “but I'm getting better about it. Or as better as I can get.” He sighs, shifts beside Nadia, and leans back against the couch. “They would have liked it here.”

“They all would have.” Nadia adds, but their words feel half-hearted falling from their lips because Nadia doesn't actually know that. Their parents would have missed their home in Chicago too much, they would have missed Zareen too much, they would have hated the sea even if it's different than the one on the east coast. And they know Gabriel can't be sure about his parents, but the possibilities are more comforting even if they might be false.

“Do you think there's some other giant monster out there like the Leviathan?” Gabriel asks. “You think that the Leviathan will actually rise up from the sea and do something catastrophic?”

“With everything that's happened in this world I wouldn't be surprised.” Nadia replies. They pause, swallow. “But it's not something I want to think about, because of course as soon as we get settled in some place that offer protection it'll likely get destroyed by some monster that just decided to wake up after God knows how many years under the water.”

“At least we got to experience that for once,” Gabriel points out, and Nadia isn't sure if he's being optimistic or not.

Nadia shrugs. “I guess.” But there's other things they still haven't done yet, other things they haven't experienced, other things they still want to be. “But we still have a few days to pretend, so we might as well make the most of it.” And they notice a shift in the atmosphere when they say it, and they suppose they have to admit that confronting their own problems is grouped with that.

Gabriel stands up from the couch. “You want some tea? I probably have food, too.”

Nadia raises their eyebrows. “You haven't even checked?”

Gabriel smiles sheepishly. “I fell asleep once I got through the doorway, so, no.”

“God, you're a mess.” Nadia mumbles under their breath just loud enough for Gabriel to catch it. He grins and walks into the kitchen as Nadia stands up from the couch to follow him. Louder, they say, “I'd like some tea, thanks.”

“Only when no one's watching.” he calls from the kitchen. Something crashes and he swears rather loudly. “Disregard that.” he adds as an afterthought as Nadia tosses the blanket to the couch and walks into the kitchen. Forks an array of sizes scatter the floor next to their drawer, and Nadia notices several of the tableware is missing from the cabinet above and next to the stovetop. The door had been dismantled from that months ago for reasons Nadia doesn't even remember anymore. “You want oolong or,” Gabriel pauses. “oolong? Someone's been going through my tea boxes.”

“Probably Sam,” Nadia says as they sit on the tiny kitchen table and watch him pour water into a banged up kettle after tossing the forks back into their respective drawer. “Beatriz thinks she's on a tea kick because she's trying to figure out how to grow the plants perfectly.”

Gabriel frowns. “She knows how important my tea is to me, so I doubt she'd do that. Unless she forgot I lived here in the weeks we've been gone.” he mumbles glumly as he turns on the stove.

“Unfortunately, you're difficult to ignore,” Nadia replies with a smirk. He turns around and glare at them half-heartedly. More seriously, they say, “Gabriel, no one's going to forget you.”

“Yeah, Dani won't,” he sighs and sits on the table next to Nadia; it makes a creaking noise that Nadia knows is a warning sign. “but only because she couldn't even if she wanted to.”

“Sam won't, and neither will Beatriz, Janae, or Sarah.” Nadia pauses, then adds, “I won't.”

“I appreciate how you're an afterthought in that declaration.” Gabriel replies, but he still nudges his knee against Nadia's. Assurance he knows what they mean, they suppose, but really that is implied in his own words. “I'm glad I ended up here.” he murmurs more to himself than to Nadia, but he turns his head to look at Nadia after the words leave his lips; something in his words makes Nadia's gaze fall to his lips, and they've never noticed the small mole beneath his bottom lip or the small squash-shaped brown birthmark peeking out from beneath his hair on his forehead; but they notice how he's looking at them; they notice it a bit too well.

Nadia kisses him first. Their left hand reaches up to cup his face; their thumb presses lightly against his cheekbone; they kiss him languidly with a sort of reverence, a sort of patience that his own lips match with ease. The two of them have always been like this, they suppose. Matching each other, falling into each other without even realizing it. Nadia finally realizes how fitting it is that Gabriel's eyes ought to be constellations and Nadia's the emeralds so that they capture them. When they pull away, Gabriel, with his eyes still closed, leans forward as if to chase after them.

His eyes open slowly. He blinks before he turns his attention to the tea kettle where steam rises up from the spout, curling upwards in the air lazily, then he looks back at Nadia and lets his eyes map lines into their face before kissing them again. His hands move to cup Nadia's face as their eyes close; he pulls their face closer, and how calloused his fingertips are Nadia never truly realized until now. His lips press chapped against their own; his short fingernails graze against Nadia's scalp when he moves his hands. Their fingers curl around the fabric of his sweatshirt when they finally decide to place their hands on his waist, and a shrill sound erupts from the tea kettle.

Gabriel pulls away from Nadia gradually; his hands fall down to their neck where his fingers absently caress the skin. “Sorry,” he mumbles before he pushes himself off the table. His ears are tipped red and his cheeks flushed. Nadia doesn't even bother trying to hide how their eyes keep falling to his lips.

“Don't apologize.” They clear their throat and feel as if they should say something else, should bring up what happened, should figure out if that priest a few streets away still officiates weddings. It takes a moment for them to remind themself that they're thinking too far in the future for that; they wouldn't even want to do that.

Nadia pushes themself off the table. They watch as he pours the water with a careful precision into two mugs; one has an image of a lily on it while the second is chipped around the rim. Steam curls upwards into the air while he adds the tea leaves; a smile tugs at his lips. He hands the lily-marked one to Nadia while he keeps the chipped one for himself, which he stirs once with a fork before setting it on the counter again. “It'll take around two minutes for the tea to infuse.” he says as he stands on the table next to Nadia. His fingers gently curl around Nadia's; he doesn't look at their face but instead keeps his gaze fixated on the way their hands interlock.

“So,” he starts, but he whatever he had in his head before disappears when he finally looks up at Nadia's face. His smile reminds Nadia of the sun; they mirror his own and feel something like giddiness unfurl in their chest. They wouldn't mind staying like this, in this place, side-by-side with Gabriel. They lean forward to kiss him again when they hear the distinct sound of the front door opening. The floorboards creak wherever the person steps, and Nadia pulls away from Gabriel moments before Sarah stops in the doorway of the kitchen.

Sarah, out of breath, looks at the two of them before speaking. “Thank God you're awake, I figured you would be, but I still wasn't completely sure. Gabriel, Nadia, something happened.” she manages to get out as Nadia angles their body towards her. She's wrapped in layers, yet she's still shivering. “There was some woman looking for you, says her name is Margaret and you met her while out there.” she adds, the words stumbling over each other as if she can't figure out how to say them.

“What happened to her?” Nadia asks. Their hand reluctantly falls from Gabriel's.

Sarah shrugs. “She didn't say, but if her wounds were anything to go by I'd say she was attacked. She's sleeping now, but...” Sarah frowns. She worries her bottom lip as she starts twiddling her thumbs. “She seemed desperate up until she passed out.”

“She's okay, right?” Gabriel asks as he crosses his arms over his chest.

Sarah nods. “She's being looked after now, but something bad seriously happened to her. I've never seen wounds on her like that before – it's like she was attacked by a sea monster or something.” She shifts on her feet; her eye wanders the apartment as if she's looking for something familiar, something that she has in her own apartment, something that might remind her of Sam.

“Sam is fine, Sarah.” Nadia tells her; their own words surprise them. “She's survived worse than this.” Because of me, they don't add, but both of them seem to realize the words are understood. Or maybe Nadia is only thinking that and just assumes she are.

Sarah nods absentmindedly. “I know. I know, but... I still worry about her.” These words she says while she looks at Gabriel; her shoulders relax when she sees him in a way that they never will when she sees Nadia; they want nothing more than to fix what they did, but at the time...at the time, they couldn't think of anything else. “She came with a group of other people. One of them was her kid, and they want to talk to you since you two are the only familiar faces here. I'll bring you to them, if you want.”

“Please,” Gabriel says, and briefly Nadia wishes the two of them could be selfish for once and stay here in the comfort of their ignorance, drinking tea and existing for once. But they push those thoughts aside and, with a look at Gabriel, they follow Sarah as she starts walking. Her quick pace never wavers, and it's something which Nadia has associated with only her. She was always the first one to go headfirst into a fight at the hotel, and she was always the quickest; she had to be, and the thrill of it kept her in it the longest until she won. At the end of it, she kept her sleeves rolled up to brandish her bruises and cuts as if they were something to take pride in.

Once, Eric had begged her to stop doing that to herself. Only fifteen, but he knew how it would destroy her. He knew her better than anyone else, least of all Nadia who spoke with her occasionally but often enough to prompt their own worry into existence. Sarah told him she would, but she never did. Often, they had wondered how she became that kind of person, and occasionally they wondered if they would have become that kind of person had they lost their parents the same day they lost Zareen.

Gabriel's arm brushes against their own. “You okay?” he asks in a low voice.

“I'm fine. Why?”

“You have that look on your face.” Gabriel frowns as he walks down the steps. His hands brush against the railing, not completely touching but not completely free of it. Sarah walks a hair too fast for the both of them, yet she doesn't seem to notice. That, or she knows the two of them are right behind her.

“It's nothing. I'm just thinking.”

“About?”

“Nothing.” Nadia swallows. They could elaborate, they should, but not now. “I'll tell you later.” They let their arm brush against his, and they wish the impending future would stop for once.

Sarah walks through the lobby of the hotel where her shadow leans dark against the wall. People Nadia has seen before yet never talked to because their personalities do not quite align, because they prefer to fall deeper into the company they've known for an eternity than construct new bridges, sit close together on the couches. If Nadia were close enough, they have no doubt they would be able to see the bags under their eyes.

The people from Margaret's community stand close together as if the unfamiliarity of the place is disconcerting, as if the four walls might close in and swallow them whole with Margaret away. Less than half of them are alive, but all of them have bandages on their bodies and bruises discoloring what visible skin they reveal. Someone has provided blankets and water for them which the adults give to the teenagers and smaller children. One of them, a man with dark skin named Nathan, watches Sarah approach with apprehension in his gaze, but when he notices Nadia his face brightens slightly. “Nadia, Gabriel, you were told about Margaret?” His voice remains steady, a comforting constant, and his willowy figure stands over them as an eternal protector.

Nadia and Gabriel both nod. “What exactly happened to you?” Gabriel asks.

“Bandits.” Nathan replies. He crosses his arms over his chest. “A large group of bandits came and attacked us looking for demigods. We've been attacked by them in the past, but they never came in groups that large so we always fought them off. But this time, they didn't quit. They killed our guards and broke into the compound...then shortly after these monsters showed up. They must have been drawn to the noise, and they looked like some kind of sea creature. One of them was a gigantic crab while the other looked like a cross between a squid and an octopus. They destroyed everything. We only barely escaped.”

Nadia's mouth forms a tight line. They knew when Sarah told them what it was, but hearing it from Nathan and seeing the survivors, they have to admit that whatever is happening is much worse than they thought. Something needs to be done about this, if there can be anything. And right now, it seems like the only way to escape this is to wait it out. Maybe go up to Canada, to Alaska, where no monster could survive. Realistically, no human could either, but maybe there are people up there, somehow surviving. It's better than believing in nothing.

“How is Luke?” Nadia asks, finally.

“He's fine. He's in the waiting room of the hospital with Craig.” Nathan looks back at the people in his group individually, and pieces of his facade begin to crumble. It starts in his lips, then in his eyes, and although Nadia did not know him long they never expected his brown eyes to look so hopeless. “We'll be fine.” he tells the three of them when he looks back at them. “Sarah mentioned that your leader Anita might be able to help us find a new place.”

Nadia's eyebrows raise. “You aren't staying?”

Nathan shakes his head. “All of us live better in a smaller, close knit community. If we have to stay temporarily for months we will, but it won't be permanent.” Some of the others nod behind him, affirming this. “Once we heal from this, we'll be gone as soon as we can leave.”

Nadia looks at Gabriel who doesn't seem surprised by this. He nods as if he understands. “We'll help you in any way we can while you're here.”

Nathan smiles. “Thank you. Right now, I think we should all sleep. Are there apartments here we can stay in, or some other place?”

“There's a hotel a few streets away that might have some rooms available.” Nadia says. “Usually, we reserve that space for people who are simply passing through.”

“I can show it to you.” Sarah offers. “I have to go back on guard duty anyway.”

“Thank you, we would all appreciate that.” Nathan's gaze hardens, then, and he adds, “If I may, it might do you some good to move if monsters are coming out of the ocean.” Nadia supposes they should, but unless the entire city decides to move Nadia doubts they'll move anywhere. They wouldn't know where else to go.

They and Gabriel bid Nathan and his group farewell with a promise they will both see Margaret in the morning, and when the door closes Nadia feels something heavy descend upon their chest. Gabriel's hand grasps their own as if he knows, as if he feels the same seeing them again – out of their shell, out of where they should be, out of what they know. He leads the two of them back up the stairs, across the cement that Nadia barely registers they're walking on, and they don't even make it into the hallway before they stop.

“Do you think what Nathan said is right? That sea monsters will attack this place?” The words felt like glass in their throat, glass which they ignored since before Nathan even mentioned it, glass that burned from sand-grit from years ago.

Gabriel shrugs. His thumb brushes over the back of Nadia's hand, and the warmth seeps into the cracks in Nadia's skin. “I don't know. Probably, but we'd be to defend ourselves.” He pauses. Someone's footsteps runs across the floor above them. “But he's right, and I wouldn't be surprised if Anita told us we had to move, especially with another attack to solidify her worries.”

Nadia exhales through their nose. Their other hand grasps the cold metal of the handrail which reminds them it's winter. “Is there any place safe from these monsters?” they murmur to themself, but they still look at Gabriel when they say the words. His lips downturn, and he squeezes their hand, once, in a way of affirmation that he's here. It'll be like the start of this, the advent of these sea monsters, of the Leviathan, of whatever else arrives in its wake. They suppose they should be more capable, now that they are twenty-four instead of ten and can protect themself and the people around them if need be, but all they feel is a weary ache in their bones.

The door below them opens, bringing Nadia's and Gabriel's gazes towards Zareen who steps in. She's wearing new clothes: jeans and a white turtleneck under a sky blue fleece jacket that Nadia thinks Beatriz wore a few times. Her shoulders are rigid, and her posture oddly stiff as she walks, and she looks up at them with surprise when she finally notices the two of them standing there. Her gaze falls to their clasped hands with a question on her lips, Nadia can tell, but she doesn't say anything except: “Excuse me.”

“Zareen,” Nadia begins, but when they try to continue their throat dries up. She looks at Nadia before her gaze hardens. “I'm sorry.” they finally manage. Silence greets them a second too long, then...

“You're sorry?” Zareen's eyes narrow, her brows furrow, and briefly Nadia wonders how she could have the audacity to raise her voice; then they remember they have no right to think that. “You don't get to be sorry, Nadia.” She slips into Farsi as easy as if it were breathing, and oh, how Nadia wishes her tongue would shape the words with care rather than callous. “You refused to see me as your sister ever since you found me, Nadia! You've refused to listen to me when I've tried to explain everything to you! Do you know how that hurts, Nadia? Do you know what it feels to have your own twin act as if you're an abomination? And believe me, I know what you've done in the past! Beatriz told me the kind of shit you did to get here, so don't you dare tell me you're innocent.”

And Nadia wasn't going to, but the fact that Beatriz told Zareen what they did... It isn't as if they didn't know how Beatriz thought of them – she had always been Sarah and Sam's friend before Nadia's – but they didn't know she would tell their sister. They don't say anything to Zareen. They just look at her with an open mouth as they think of a retort.

“I'm sorry,” is all they say.

Zareen continues as if she hadn't heard them. “And now I have someone following me because Anita can't trust me. When have I thrown someone to the wolves, Nadia? When have I let my friend be taken away by bandits in order to save my own skin? When have I ever been as terrible as you?” She glares, and her hands ball into fists. “You're a fucking hypocrite. If anyone can't be trusted, it's you.” She pushes past the both of them, and when she leaves Gabriel squeezes Nadia's hand again. He looks at them, his eyes searching their own, and he gently pulls Nadia towards him. His head falls on their shoulder, and his other hand laces with theirs.

“Are you okay?” he asks softly.

“She's right.” Nadia says in lieu of a direct response. “I shouldn't have done what I did. I shouldn't have gone to the Leviathan cult, because if I hadn't I wouldn't have found her and she'd still be dead.”

“You don't mean that.” Gabriel murmurs. “She probably misses you as much as you miss her, she's just frustrated and tired. And I don't blame her.”

Nadia doesn't say anything at first and instead looks at the wall. Someone painted the wall with abstract shapes and words that Nadia should take comfort in, but instead they think about the person who painted them, about the fact that he died a few months after he found this place because bandits captured him when he was out on a scavenging mission. Someone took charcoal and tried to replicate his designs, but their drawing of a sunset stays half-finished on the wall.

“I miss her.” they finally say. “And I know I already said this but I miss my parents. I miss the cat we had, and I miss that trip to the hospital when the cat scratched Zareen, and I miss that time I nearly broke my cello by using it to skateboard.”

Gabriel pulls away from them. His lips are quirked in a smile. “You tried to skateboard on your cello?”

“I was nine.” Nadia states. And they smile, but their vision still blurs, and they still feel something wet fall down their cheeks. It's stupid, they think, to cry over this. This is their life now, and they should have gotten used to it long ago. They rub at their eyes with the back of their hand. “We should actually drink that tea.” they murmur and start walking towards the exit. Never mind that they don't want to drink it since it'll be cold, now, and all they really want to do is find a shower and wash themself clean before falling asleep.

So that's what they do after telling Gabriel they need some time alone and they'll get back to him later. Steam coats condensation on the glass shower walls and dirt and dust and what looks like blood swirls down the drain with water and soap bubbles. It takes much too long to get rid of all the dirt, but as the steam curls upwards to the ceiling and the water burns absolution into their skin the physical remnants of their recon mission disappear. They step out of the shower some old minutes later, wrap a towel around their waist, and let their hair drip water down their back. They run a hand through it just to feel its smoothness and look at themself in the mirror. Small, healing cuts still dot their face, and dark circles hang under their eyes. Stubble dots their jawline, and they figure they should shave it but they can't muster the will.

They pull on a white t-shirt and sweatpants, then after combing their hair pull on a hoodie they find on a pile of clothes in the corner of their bedroom. They braid their hair as they walk back to Gabriel's apartment, and with their foot they nudge open the door again partially ajar. They find him laying on the couch with a book under his nose, and when he looks up at them he smiles. “You okay?”

In lieu of a response, Nadia lays on top of him and buries their face into his chest. “I'm going to sleep.” they mumble.

“I'm gonna stay up for a bit, will that bother you?”

“No, that's fine.”

“Goodnight.” Gabriel murmurs, and Nadia mumbles a response even they can't quite hear. For a few moments, they listen to the sound of rustling pages, and with their index finger they trace shapes into the skin of his waist before they drift off to sleep.

When Nadia wakes up, their arm is thrown over Gabriel's waist and his head is tucked underneath their chin. They stay there a few moments, staring at the way the light hits the coffee table to illuminate it, before they slowly pull themself up from the couch. Their hand cards through Gabriel's hair once before dragging their body to the kitchen. After rummaging through one of the cabinets, they find a bag of lettuce which they promptly devour. Two unwashed mugs sit in the sink next to a filthy rag, and a duffle bag Nadia hadn't noticed last night sits on a coatrack next to front door next to his shoes.

While they wash the empty bag, they feel Gabriel wrap his arms around their waist. He sways to the side, making the two stumble, and he mumbles something against their back that their hoodie muffles. Nadia flushes at the contact despite what happened last night. It's a sort of casual affection they're used to, but not within these parameters.

“What was that?” Nadia asks as they hang the bag on the dish rack. Gabriel tightens his grip around their waist instead of responding. Nadia grabs a box of stale crackers and shuffles towards the kitchen table where they, very slowly, detach themself from Gabriel to sit on it. He doesn't even bother to hesitate before he climbs on Nadia's lap and clings to them like a lifeline. Nadia prods his shoulder with their index finger. He doesn't even register it. They smile. “Are you even awake?”

Gabriel shrugs. He presses his mouth to the hollow of Nadia's throat in something that they barely register as a kiss – it's more of a poorly coordinated pinch with his lips. “Can you make some tea?”

“Will you get off me so I can?”

“Probably not.” Gabriel mumbles. “I'll make it then.”

Nadia raises their eyebrows. “You'll fall asleep at the stove.”

Gabriel mumbles, “Later then,” and he presses another sloppy kiss to Nadia's neck as if that will make them answer him, but all Nadia really wants to do is detach their body from his. “Why are you awake?”

Nadia hums. “I was hungry, and now I'm just up to spite you.”

Gabriel lifts his head slowly. He glares at them half-heartedly, his eyes bleary and dark circles underneath his eyes. “You're a shitty significant other.”

“Mm, I try.” Nadia stuffs another cracker into their mouth and shakes the box towards Gabriel. “Want one?” Gabriel shoves his hand in the box, rummages around like he's about to pull out a handful, then pulls his hand out to reveal he's captured a third of one. He doesn't even look disappointed when he eats it.

A slight chill shifts through the air, pushing aside the barest warmth Nadia feels through the small holes in their clothes, but they find they'll take this slight uncomfortable feeling over the bitter, biting cold outside. Warmth bleeds from Gabriel's body into Nadia's, and they figure their own small bit of home exists here only between the two of them.

“Are we dating?” he asks after a while, and his voice sounds more alert. He keeps himself seated in Nadia's lap, though, and Nadia doubts he'd move if he didn't have to.

Nadia shrugs. “If you want to be.” They add, “The fact we made out in your kitchen is probably a good indicator we are.”

Gabriel hums. “We should make that a running theme.”

“Making out here?” Nadia raises their eyebrows.

Gabriel gesticulates with his hand. “Making out in general. Specifically right now.” He waggles his eyebrows which Nadia promptly ignores. “But first,” he slides off Nadia's lap and opens one of the cabinets, “I need tea.”

“You probably drink too much of that,” Nadia comments as they close the box of crackers and set it down next to them. He grabs the kettle, puts water in it, and sets it on the stovetop.

“Oh, definitely.” he agrees as he sits on the counter. He reaches up and grabs a box of uncooked angel hair and starts eating them like candy. “But it's the only thing I can stomach beside water. You want any?”

Nadia shakes their head. “I'm fine. After this, we should visit Margaret.”

“Okay.” Gabriel sticks a noodle in his mouth. It disappears in three seconds. “When do you think Anita will tell us about her plan of action?”

Nadia shrugs. Their finger traces a tan line in the wood of the table so it forms a bow-legged star. “Later today or tomorrow, given the attack that happens to Nathan and Margaret's group.” They look up to see a frown on his face, and they know he's thinking about it. “We've got time,” they say; to mess around, to talk with Adam and Danielle, to catch up with Sarah they don't say but from the way the corners of his lips slightly lift they know he understands.

After he pours the water into a new mug and the tea leaves soak, he lifts the mug to his lips with a sort of reverence. He looks at the frost-covered window as he drinks, then at the empty clay pots that he promised Sam he would give her a year ago. The sky blue paint on the walls and ceiling belongs to someone who lived here before him, before all this, but the color isn't unwelcome.

When he finishes, he doesn't move for a while. After Nadia puts the crackers back in the cabinet above his head, he pulls them down by the collar of their sweatshirt and kisses them. Neither of them pull away until they can't stand not to breathe anymore, but they quickly find themselves in the same position like moths to the light; Gabriel's fingers curl in Nadia's hair which he unravels from its braid, and Nadia's hands brace themself against the counter. When he lets himself be pushed back slightly, pain reverberates through Nadia's skull when they knock their forehead against the cabinet. They pull back and rub the skin. “We probably shouldn't do this here.”

Gabriel nods. “Probably not,” he agrees, but he pulls them into another kiss anyway. His hands fall from Nadia'a hair to the bottom of their hoodie, then their shirt, and a coldness spreads across Nadia's back where his hands splay out to memorize every inch of skin. The soft of his fingers prompt goosebumps to form on their skin, but as uncomfortable as it might be the calloused flesh of his fingertips isn't strange.

Nadia pulls away from Gabriel briefly before pressing their lips to the skin of his neck, behind his ear, where the bone juts out. Gradually, their head falls towards his pulse point, towards the evidence of the beating of his heart, and their hands move to grip his waist. Their fingers curl into the skin, their nails pressing hard enough they know crescent-moon marks will form later, and they smile against his throat. Their lips tug at the skin softly, eliciting a low sound past his lips, before they murmur, “Do you want to do this?” And maybe the two of them should stop before it dissolves into anything else, but they have so little time between the end of the world and now.

“I do,” Gabriel says, and his voice is barely above a murmur. His hands slide up their back where his fingers fall between the notches in their spine, and gradually the cold fades away into a warmth spreading to the tips of Nadia's toes. “I do,” he repeats as Nadia's lips skate across his collarbone, and Nadia thinks he might have forgotten how to form words other than those. He pushes himself off the counter, briefly pushing Nadia away from him while he pulls off his sweatshirt uncaring where it ends up, and his fingers curl around the belt loops of Nadia's jeans to pull them closer. He leans up to kiss them once, softly, on the lips before he leads them back to the couch and he coaxes tenderness between the cracks in Nadia's skin.

Sometime later, Nadia's fingers slide through Gabriel's hair before dipping to trace imaginary lines in his neck and the bump of his collarbone. Moles dot his hips, his stomach, and freckles scatter across his chest like stars which Nadia connects to create constellations. Gabriel's eyes scan their face as if he's searching for something, but his hand simply rises so he can brush his fingers against the curve of their cheekbone. He smiles, and something warm blooms in Nadia's chest underneath their ribcage when they give him one in return.

Neither of them want to move, but eventually they both manage to find the will to shower and change into different clothes. Nadia finds some of their own they left at Gabriel's apartment months ago which they make due with, and they pull on the same hoodie after re-braiding their hair. The two step out of Gabriel's apartment right as Beatriz walks down the hallway; she wears a pair of jeans, boots, and what looks like a very thin sweater – Nadia has never understood how she can stand the cold – and her dark brown eyes lock onto them.

“Anita wants to see you both.” she says, and for the briefest of moments she looks sympathetic. “Something about whatever you told her yesterday about the monsters and what happened with that group who came here.”

A chill runs down Nadia's spine at her words, but they swallow down what apprehension they have. They nod. “Thanks for telling us.”

Beatriz nods. She looks at Nadia when she adds, “I told Zareen not to do it, but it's not like she'll listen to me considering.”

Despite Beatriz's words, Nadia frowns. “She can do want she wants. I don't care.” They're lying, and the circles they run in will only hurt them in the end, but the words are comforting for now. It doesn't matter that the gut feeling they have won't go away, and it doesn't matter what Zareen decided to do. It doesn't, it doesn't, it doesn't.

They swear the air grows colder as they walk. They gave the SUV to Anita knowing she would need it to lend out to people going on missions, and Nadia figured that a walk in the cold wouldn't bother them as much knowing they're enclosed within towering walls. And they were right, but the thoughts running through their head bother them more than they assumed they would. Neither of them talk, and Nadia is content to just keep their fingers laced together.

They don't acknowledge anyone when they walk inside the office building, instead going straight to Anita's office and waiting as someone else talks with her. Both of their voices are muffled behind the glass, and Nadia is glad they can't hear what's being said. Nathan steps out after several minutes of waiting, and he acknowledges the two of them with a nod before disappearing down the stairs.

The door closes softly behind Gabriel when he enters the office after Nadia. Anita looks up at the two of them with a slight frown. “I'm sorry to call you back so early, but with what happened recently it can't wait. I want you to scout out a new city for us to move to, and I'll give you two days to prepare a party if you want to as well pack everything.”

Gabriel stares at her. “Two days?”

Anita nods. “I'm being generous since you just came back from a mission. I wouldn't do this to you, but unfortunately most of the people able to go on these missions are out scavenging or ill. Some sort of flu has been going around.” She turns her attention towards Nadia who feels their veins freeze up. “I believe you should know this since she's your sister, so Zareen has decided to volunteer to find the Leviathan and kill it before anything catastrophic happens.”

Nadia stares at her. They don't completely register Anita's words they tell themself, she must be waiting to add something that contradicts what she just said, except she's watching them with something like understanding in her gaze while saying nothing else.

“What.” Nadia's mouth dries. The ring around their neck adds a pound to its weight with each breath they take, and the chain digs into the skin of Nadia's neck. “She's going to try to kill that thing? You can't – These monsters don't die anymore, you can't just kill one.”

“Zareen thinks she might have a way to solve this,” Anita replies, “but I will admit I think she's bluffing.”

Nadia's brows furrow. “And you let her go anyway?”

Anita nods. “There's something about her, she's determined to do this, Nadia, and if it solves the problem for the rest of us I'll take it.” Anita pauses. “If she does this, she'll be a hero.”

“I don't care. What about her life? She'll kill herself in the process.”

“When is she leaving?” Gabriel interrupts. Nadia turns to look at him, and he gives them a small frown when he meets their gaze before he turns his attention back to Anita.

“On the tenth,” Anita replies, “in four days. But she looked as if she wanted to go sooner. If you want to stop her I suggest you confront her about it soon.” She goes back to outlining something on an atlas, and she doesn't look up when she says, “But keep in mind this is her decision, Nadia.” Nadia opens their mouth to say something, but silence is the only thing which passes their lips as they try to think of words to spill. Clearly the meeting is over, so Nadia relents to storming from the office, down the stairs, and outside the building where snowflakes lazily glide down from the swirling gray sky.

People mill about the streets, on the sidewalks, into buildings, and slush piles up in the alleyways which they can see just standing in front of the office building. They can still see the walls – wherever they go in the city they can still see the towering walls. They can't see anything ever breaching them, but they never would have thought the hotel would burn to the ground, either.

Cold air settles in their lungs as they run towards the apartment complex, up to the Les' old room that they know Zareen has to be staying in because Danielle and Adam took the other one only because it was on Gabriel's floor. They knock on the door; before it even opens, the words threaten to spill from their lips in a cascade.

Zareen looks at them with a frown, crosses her arms over her chest, and waits. Out of the corner of their eye, Nadia notices people walking about: coming back to their apartments, leaving to work for the day, visiting with friends.

“What the hell are you thinking?” The words scatter into the air between the two; Nadia should care about out loud they're being, about the looks people give the two of them, but they don't because what's the point? “You're going to get yourself killed out there! I nearly lost you once, and I can't do that again!”

“You don't dictate my life, Nadia, and for your information you left me alone out there and this time I'm going out there on my own accord.” Zareen tries to close the door, but Nadia moves their foot in the way. “I don't want to talk about this with you, Nadia.”

“You're just going to throw your life away like that, then? Without a second thought?” Nadia's shoulders fall. They're angry, they're so angry, but more than anything they don't want to watch Zareen leave.

“I am if it'll make these people see me as someone they can trust. You made sure that I knew I needed to redeem myself, so this is how I'm going to do it.” Her eyes look sad, then, and Nadia wants to disappear her fears like they had done when they were both kids plagued by nightmares of giant clowns and millipedes and bottomless pits.

“Let me go with you.” Nadia says right as Gabriel calls their name down the hall. They turn to look at him briefly, but their attention immediately goes back to Zareen.

She shakes her head, and for a moment her entire face grows sad. There are eons Nadia will never know in her eyes, no matter how much they which to experience them. “I can't be around you anymore.” She pauses, then looks at Gabriel who appears next to Nadia. “You aren't the same person anymore.” She pushes Nadia's foot out of the way, closes the door, and locks it. Nadia stares at the painted wood a few minutes longer, at the shiny metal number on the door and the carpeting underneath their boots.

“You're going to get yourself killed, Zareen.” Nadia repeats more softly this time. “You know what Dani said. Nothing can kill the Leviathan, and you'd only end up dying if you tried. I'm sorry about what I did, okay? I shouldn't have done it, and I regret it, so please don't do this to yourself.” They swallow. Gabriel's hand grasps theirs. “I can't let you die. Not when I can stop it.”

But if Zareen hears them, she doesn't open the door to acknowledge it.

The greenhouses stick out like a sore thumb in San Francisco once you know where to look for them. They're huge, much larger than they really need to be, but with the surplus of food the greenhouses have been producing thanks to various demigods Nadia can't be ungrateful. A Hephaestus demigod designed the buildings with the help of some mortals who had been skilled architects before this all began, and children of Demeter and other nature deities helped coax various vegetables and fruits to life. When Sam first came here, Nadia often saw her in the greenhouses out of obligation before she gravitated towards other things that were more of an interest.

Nadia pulls open the door and is immediately greeted by a rush of warm air that prompts them to shrug off their coat. The smells of fruits and soil and life wrap around them like a shroud. Lia, a Korean woman with a prominent star-shape mark above her left eyebrow, they're not surprised to see watering the troughs, but when they notice Adam tending to a potted squash with a delicate touch they can't help the way their eyes widen. But they push their surprise aside in favor of stopping beside Lia who looks up with a sunny smile.

She's about a year and half younger than Nadia and several inches shorter as well – nearly Gabriel's height – but Nadia wouldn't be surprised if she could defeat every capable fighter in the city in a sword fight. Instead of fighting, however, she generally keeps herself busy with the greenhouses and hospital. “Nadia, hi! Beatriz told me you and Gabriel were back.” She puts on a fake scowl. “I'm a little offended you didn't visit me sooner.”

Nadia smiles sheepishly. “Sorry, Lia,” they say, “but it's been a hectic past few days. I was wondering if I could ask you something, actually.”

“Shoot.” Lia says as she steps away from the trough. She ties her hair up in a sloppy bun, and Nadia notices she's wearing one of Beatriz's maroon cardigans. One of the buttons is missing, and it is just slightly too small on her.

“Anita asked Gabriel and I to go on a scouting mission to find another city.” Nadia bites their lip, uncertain how to phrase the mission in a way that won't inform Lia of its true nature. It isn't like she'll freak out, but Nadia doesn't want to cause any panic – and Lia couldn't keep a secret even if her life depended on it. “She thinks we should have a backup plan in case something happens to San Francisco.”

“What's happening in San Francisco?” Adam interrupts. He walks over to the two of them, then he stands next to Lia as if it's only natural. Nadia wonders how often he's been coming into the greenhouses since he came here a day ago, and they wonder how someone like him could exist in Lia's space without thinking about his own actions. “We have to leave again?”

Nadia looks at Lia, and she shrugs with a slight smile before they direct their attention back to Adam. His skin looks distinctly paler without the layer of grim on it, and he looks healthier with new clothes. Happier, almost. Nadia's wouldn't be surprised if Danielle had the same sort of vibrance about her now.

“Maybe.” Nadia admits. “I don't know. But for now, don't worry about it.” They turn to Lia. “Will you come? I know you aren't a fan of going outside the city, but I don't know anyone else who might go except for you.”

Lia shakes her head. “I'm sorry, Nadia,” her Minnesotan accent comes through only when she's apologizing, “but I promised Beatriz I would stay here and help coordinate the move instead of going on there.”

“Oh. She told you about that?”

She nods. “Immediately after Anita told her, so I know that Anita's worried about sea monsters overtaking the city. And I would go with you, but Beatriz would worry and I know Sarah needs someone to keep her company or she'll go outside of the city looking for Sam herself.”

Nadia swallows. They look at Adam, and while his eyes widen he doesn't seem incredibly surprised at the news, as if he figured this city was too good to be true anyway. “Adam, do you want to come with me, then? I know that's probably the last thing you want, but we'll be doing our best to avoid danger rather than going right into it this time.”

It takes longer than Nadia expects for him to respond, but he does with a reluctant nod. “Okay.”

“Really?” Instantly, Nadia regrets asking him to join, but a selfish part of them is glad that someone is going with them.

“Yes. But only because I know Dani would want to help.” He flushes, then says more quietly, “And I don't want to leave her again.” Lia smiles at him and reaches up to ruffle his hair, prompting him to give her a half-hearted glare. “Stop.” he whines. “No, you're adorable.” She laughs at how pink his cheeks grow and dances away from him before he can push her away.

“You should tell Dani, Nadia.” Adam tells them. “When do we leave, then, and will it just be us?”

Nadia nods. “Probably. And we'll leave tomorrow. Anita only told me today, so I'm sorry for the sudden notice.”

“Good luck, Nadia.” Lia's arms wrap around Nadia's waist like she means to pick them up and spin them around, but she leaves the two of them in a grounded embrace. Even though she pulls away, she doesn't let go of them until Nadia gives her a smile. Satisfied, she pulls Adam into a hug next. “You be careful, too, Adam.” She ruffles his hair again for good measure, and this time he reluctantly accepts it.

The library is rarely populated, but whenever new books are found there is always a group of people who are found among the stacks. Sarah and Gabriel are often those people, as are Matthew, Janae, and occasionally Lia whenever she pulls herself from the greenhouses. Beatriz wanders in at times as well, but she never manages to get any reading done and instead tries (often unsuccessfully) to drag Lia away. Nadia has seen Sam in the library once or twice, but usually she obtains her books through Julia or Sarah; Nadia sees her most often on the western wall gazing out at the vast, endless ocean, and occasionally they join her. The two of them never acknowledges each other's presence with anything more than a nod and the occasional uplift of the corners of their lips, and Nadia doubts it will ever progress to anything more than that. There is too much bad blood between them.

They go to the library on Adam's suggestion, and there they find Danielle sitting in the corner at a circular table with stacks of books all around her. The spines read Dictionary of the Middle Ages, A Wrinkle in Time, and various other volumes of encyclopedias and novels of science-fiction, fantasy in addition to biology guides. She only looks up at them when they lightly tap on her shoulder, but even before she does she can't seem to tear her gaze away for a good full minute.

“Nadia! Hi!” Her smile is like the sun. “This place is amazing, I've never seen so many books before in one place, even when I was a kid.” She pushes a stack towards Nadia when they sit down. “I could probably live here, I think.” she admits, then she notices Nadia's expression. “What's up? Is Adam complaining about me spending too much time here already?”

Nadia raises their eyebrows. “How long have you been here?”

Danielle shrugs. She smiles sheepishly. “Since dawn I think. I woke him up, told him where I was going, and left for the library as quickly as I could. So why are you here then?”

“Gabriel and I have been assigned another mission,” Nadia begins, “and I was hoping you would join us. Anita thinks we should find another city because of the sea monsters and the Leviathan, so Gabriel and I are to find it and report back to her.”

Danielle's grin slowly disappears. She looks at the stacks of books around her, then the open book in front of her. After a few moments, she nods. “Okay. After what you did for me I can't just say no. When do we leave?”

“Tomorrow at dawn. I'd like to find this place as quickly as I can.”

Danielle nods. “For peace of mind. I get it. Is it just you, me, Gabriel, and Adam? Or are other people coming along?”

“Just us.” Nadia replies. “I'll come find you in the morning, and we'll be off.” And maybe Nadia should feel guilt for lying to her and Adam, but they don't. After all, it's for a good reason.

They find Gabriel on the wall.

Nadia pulls themself off the cold metal of the handrail then stands overlooking the Brooklyn Bridge at the north. It's beautiful even in the bitter cold of the winter, even when the wind exhibits enough force that Nadia swears the bridge will break apart and fall into the ocean. The swirling air up here almost makes them forget about the monsters, about the responsibilities they have in the city, about the fact that the world has descended into something they never would have thought of over a decade ago.

They walk towards Gabriel and Beatriz who sits next to him with her arm thrown over his shoulders. She pulls him closer, probably because she's freezing and won't admit it, and their feet dangle off the edge. Few people go up to the top of the wall anymore, only those who aren't afraid or like the thrill of being above everything. Gabriel, like Sam, goes up to think. Nothing more, nothing less.

When Gabriel notices them, he offers them a smile without getting up. He instead pats the open spot next to him which Nadia takes. They lean against him, lace their fingers together, and let their knees touch.

“So you two finally stopped circling each other, huh?” Beatriz asks casually. She looks at Nadia with an expectant expression, so they humor her with a shrug.

“To be fair, I don't think Nadia did much circling to begin with. They're just obtuse.” Gabriel replies. Nadia huffs but he just shrugs. “It's true.” he says with a smile.

“Beatriz, why did you tell Zareen what I did?” Nadia asks without a preamble. It's not like they blame her for what they did, but they just want to know. It wouldn't have changed how Zareen thought of them, at least not drastically, but...

“She asked.” Beatriz says slowly after a few moments. The snowflakes float lazily around the three of them, now, and gradually towards the ground they descend. It's almost peaceful watching them fall. It almost reminds Nadia of the life they used to live. “She wanted to know how you had been since you were separated from each other, so I told her what I knew. I mentioned how you changed, how you're different now, but I'm not sure she really latched on to that.” There's a humorless smile in her voice when she adds, “Guess you two aren't so different after all.”

Guess not, Nadia silently agrees as they watch the snowflakes fall. But they hope the two of them aren't alike in only the wrong ways.

“Well, I'll leave you two alone.” Beatriz announces right before she leaves. Nadia assumes she winks at the both of them, but they don't bother to turn around and see it for themself. They know her too well, and her crass nature isn't going to dissolve overnight.

“Have you asked anyone to go on the mission?” Gabriel asks eventually. His words feel far away, and not just because of the wind howling around the two of them. They're ready for this winter to end. They're ready for the warmth to settle in.

“Adam and Dani said they'd both go. I had asked Lia, but she gently refused.”

“She would hate it out there anyway. It's too cold, and she spends enough time in the greenhouses that she's probably forgotten what season it is.”

Nadia smiles. “Probably.”