Talk:PRIM'S ADVENTURE:MY JOUNEY:CHAPTER 1:I MET ONE OF MY BIGGEST FEARS

Well the title in caps is very attention grabbing is to say the least. I kinda like how you write the story in the whole "normal internet language"(short forms etc). It immediately gives you the image of a normal teenager in present times, just be careful how much of this you use. However, it would be better if there was more physical description, like hair colour or eye colour. Also there isnt a attention grabbing start. The purpose of a prologue/first chaoter is to immediately capture the readers attention so they would continue reading the story. So just some tips from me. Have fun writing!

Light? Or Darkness?  A bit of both perhaps?  11:37, September 18, 2012 (UTC)